UPJOKE
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Sop Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is very high and driving home

A cop pulls him over and sees him in his car with the windows closed. The cop knocks on the window and says slowly: "how high are you" and gets no answer, so he does it again, with still no answer. He does it for a third time, and once the cop sops speaking the man goes: "you really fucked that up m...

A gentleman went to the shoe store.

A gentleman went to the shoe store. The shopkeeper first sanitized his feet well. Then washed by rubbing with water. Then cleaned it thoroughly with towel and put on the shoe.
Gentleman liked the shoe, he paid the price and started walking from the shop.
The shopkeeper asked him: "What else ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Voodoo dick

So a older gentleman had fallen in love with a very attractive young woman (maybe around 21 or 22) she was a very sexually active woman and he was always able to please. One day his job called him out on a business trip and he’s be gone for atleast a week. The young woman promised to be faithful but...

Wanted to talk to my boss about how tired I am with writing these Standard Operating Procedures...

But he does not want to hear my SOP story.

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are escaping prison

After somehow dodging the security guards, they make it out of the prison. However, they are on an island and still have to swim 10 miles to be free.

They all swim away, but after 1 mile the brunette gets exhausted and turns back, saying she can't make it the whole way.

2 miles later ...

Lady brings a bunny into a vet's waiting room.

A woman walks into a vet's waiting room. She's dragging a wet rabbit on a leash. The rabbit does not want to be there. "Sit, Fluffy," she says.

Fluffy glares at her, and sopping wet, jumps up on another customer's lap, getting water all over him.

"I said sit, now there's a good Fl...

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