Why didn't 18th century composer George Frideric Handel go shopping while he lived in London?

Because he was Baroque.

Why couldn't Handel play his harpsichord?

Because it was baroquen.

When Arnold Schwarzenegger was a little boy back in Austria, he and his friends had a game where they would pretend to be famous composers ...

Georg would say "I'll be Handel!”

Franz would say "I'll be Schubert!”

Arnold would say "I'll be Bach!"

I don't want to hear any more classical Christmas music

I seriously can't handel it.

i've got a Liszt of great composer puns that's Haydn in my closet somewhere...

i could look Bach there and read it to you, but i don't think you could Handel it.

What did Scarlatti tell Vivaldi when he fell off a ladder?

"I guess you Baroque your Bach. I bet you can't Handel the pain."

Why did the thief killed himself after getting caught stealing instruments from an orchestra?

He didn't have a safe Hayden place, and couldn't Handel the thought of being sent Bach to prison.

A symphony is preparing for a concert.

The crowds eagerly await this outdoor performance of the Hallelujah Chorus. However, it's the middle of June, and the heat is terrible. All the flutes, trumpets, and tubas are out of tune. The choir is miserable and sweaty.

Ultimately, they're forced to cancel the performance. It was simply t...

How did the Democrats feel about the results of Georgia's special election ?

The just couldn't Handel the loss. They had worked their Ossof for it.

[Composer Joke] JS Bach died and went to heaven...

After he died, Bach landed at the Pearly Gates where God was waiting. "Bach! hallelujah!" God said: "Our angelic choir is in need of a new oratorio, and with how many songs you've composed, you MUST be the man for the job."

Bach sighed, then said:

"God, I've spent my entire life comp...

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