UPJOKE
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Got my dream job today. I get my own 200 thousand dollar company car and a corner window with a view of the city..

Being a city bus driver is a dream come true.
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Reaching the end of a job interview, the human resources officer asked a young engineer fresh out of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, “and what starting salary are you looking for?” The engineer replies, “In the region of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package.”

The interviewer inquires, “Well, what would you say to a package of five weeks vacation, fourteen paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years? Say, a red Corvette?” The engineer sits up straight and says, “Wow!! ...
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Are you searching for a remote job with no prior experience required, $120k base pay+commission and a high-end company car? PM me.

We'll search together.
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Which car is best for off-road?

A company car…
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After five months on the job, a new employee believes he deserves a huge raise and decides to ask his boss.

“And how much of a raise do you want?” asks his boss.

“I’m thinking an extra $10,000 a year,” says the employee.

The boss nods. “Sounds about right. And what would you say to a package of ten weeks vacation, 20 paid holidays, and a company car leased every two years, say, a silver Cadi...
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Just seen a lad who I used to go to school with years ago

and we ended up having a bit of a catch up and he revealed he's getting wed soon and it's an arranged marriage that his parents have sorted out for him.

So I was asking about the ins and outs of what goes on and what the bride is like etc.. and he basically tells me that him and his parents h...

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Scouser walks into the jobcentre and informs the woman behind the desk that he is looking for a job.

Woman: Perfect timing. Just had this one come in. Its the minder to a billionaires nymphomaniac teenage daughter. No experience necessary. £100k pa and a Bentley as a company car

Scouse: You've got to be fucking kidding me!

Wamn: Well you started it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy starts working on an oil rig in Newfoundland

...he meets the boss of the company, is introduced to his duties and works hard for 3 months. His supervisor is impressed by his work and tells him:

"You've been working your ass off and deserve break, here are the keys to the company car, go into town and have yourself a good time"

Th...

A millennial walks into an executives office

The millennial says "Sir i would like a job."
The executive replies "Really.... How about $100k a year, corner office and a company car."
The millennial says "WOW YOU MUST BE JOKING!"

The executive says "yes, but you started it."
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Millennial's Interview

A recent college graduate is applying for a job at a big company.

Interviewer asks him what kind of salary he's looking for.

Graduate replies "I was thinking around $125,000, maybe higher depending upon on how generous your benefits are."

"Well," the interviewer says, "how abo...
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The 4 hour erection...

I went to a chemist store and asked to talk to a male pharmacist. 

The woman I spoke to said she was the only pharmacist and since she and her sister owned the store, there were no male employees. 

She asked if she could help me.

I said that I really would have preferred to spea...
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Wanted: Personal psychic for wealthy client.

Salary: $10,000 per week plus bonuses.
Free accommodation.
10 weeks paid leave per year.
Company car.
Generous pension scheme.

You know where to apply.
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A duck goes into a bar, approaches the counter, and orders a sandwich

He says to the bartender 'listen, I'm a bricklayer on the construction site nearby, the works will last for some time and I'll be coming here every day around lunchtime for a sandwich , so think about some discount or something?

The bartender, shocked as he has never encountered a talking duc...

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