UPJOKE
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Clowns Jokes

I, for one, support these crazy killers dressing up like clowns.

It was a lot harder to see them coming when they were dressing like cops.

Two clowns are eating a cannibal...

One turns to the other and says, "I think we got this joke wrong."

Why do clowns have huge red Noses?

Because they honk in traffic…

If you ever get in a knife fight with a group of clowns

Go for the juggler

With all this media coverage about the clowns...

I'll be so glad when the election is over.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It's said that guys with big feet have big penises, and guys with big cars have small penises

Now I understand why so many people are afraid pf clowns

Two clowns are running for public office...

It's funny for me though because I live in Canada.

Why don’t cannibals eat clowns?

Because they taste funny.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

They say people who drive big cars have a small penis and people who wear small shoes have a small penis

So it's no wonder why everyone is so afraid of clowns.

I took my 8-year old girl to the office with me on, "Take Your Kid to Work Day." As we were walking around the office, she starting crying and getting very cranky, so I asked what was wrong with her…

As my coworkers gathered round, she sobbed loudly, "Daddy, where are all the clowns that you said that you worked with?!"

Where do clowns get their air from

The Bozone layer

Cyclists are like clowns

- They dress funny.

- They don't follow any rules.

- If anything bad happens to them, everyone laughs at them.

What do clowns fill their cars with?

Laughing gas!

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This has probably been made before, but I just thought of it after my mom, while doing her crossword puzzle, said aloud "fuel for a funny car" and I suggested laughing gas. It wasn't the right answer, unfortunately.

Update, the answer is "Nitro" which i...

3 clowns are in a judge's courtroom.

The judge, a little thrown off by the individuals turns to the attractive girl clown and asks,
"Miss, what brings you to my courtroom today?"
The girl clown responds,
"I'm here because I was blowing bubbles!"
The judge, even more confused, turns to the second clown. This one being a very...

How many clowns can you fit in a Honda?

One more.

I've just had to turn down a really good job offer, driving thirty world-famous circus clowns around on a UK tour next month.

I don't have a car small enough.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

You hear about that girl that only has sex with clowns?

She’s fucking bonkers.

Fifty clowns got fired from the circus.

Luckily, it freed up three parking spots.

Clowns can no longer afford their ballons

because of inflation

How do clowns measure their money?

Pennywise.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Timmy just loves clowns. Favourite thing in the world.

He's got clown bed spread, posters in his room, the whole shabang. Totally idolizes them

One day, Timmy sees that the big top circus is coming to town. He gets so excited that, when it finally arrived, he camps outside the ticket booth, waitimg to get the best seat in the house. And when he g...

My friend swears he loves horror movies involving clowns

I'm not certain, but I think he means It.

Clowns divorce.

Custardy battle.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

they say penis size is related to shoe size...

that makes the fear of clowns even worse.

**Edit** Ten hours in, this is my highest rated post ever! happy I found a place where im appreciated. ill come back with more material! :D

Daddy, can we go see the clowns again?

For the last time, Billy, we are not visiting congress again.

I just read about a group of suicide bombers that were dressed like clowns.

It's a really messed up story, but credit where credit's due...at least someone's trying to put the fun back in fundamentalism

How do clowns store files?

They store them on a flash drive with 32 gigglebytes of space.

Three clowns walk into a bar....

They walk in and order a drink. After a while they all head into the bathroom around the same time. 10-15 minutes pass by and the first clown walks out of the bathroom. The bartender says “What where you doing in there?” The clown goes “I was blowing bubbles”. Another 10-15 minutes go by and another...

"Look Dad! The clowns are leaving the circus to go get food!"

"Son how many times do I have to tell you? Those are called *Senators* leaving the *Capitol*"

Comedians are often sad clowns

Like their jokes, they tend to be tearable.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three Clowns

In the days just before he began his reign of terror in Nazi Germany, Hitler was talking to one of his few close friends. "I have this great idea, called the Final Solution. I'm going to kill all of the Jews in the world, and three clowns." His friend looks at him, a bit puzzled, and says, "Well,...

My one friend is afraid of clowns...

...so I took him to the NRA convention.

Did you hear they invented an automatic pen and paper for clowns?

The joke writes itself

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