A doctor's toilet gets clogged up

He calls a plumber. Plumber shows up, unclogs the toilet and gives the doctor bill for $200.

Doctor: $200? For 15 minutes worth of work? That's $800 an hour! I'm a top neurosurgeon in this city, 15 years of medical school, 3 years of residence, and even I don't make $800 an hour!

Plum...

So a pimpled man goes to the doctor...

He comes in, but refuses to sit down. The nurse asks if there is anything she could help him with.

He waves her away politely, and holds his suitcase in the air, bumps the top of it and an entire stool comes folding out. He places the stool on the ground and tries to small talk with the nurse...

A woman walks out of the shower, winks at her boyfriend, and says, "Honey, I shaved myself down there. Do you know what that means?"

The boyfriend says, "Yeah, it means the drain is clogged again.

What causes a pirate to have a heart attack?

Something clogged their arrrrrrteries

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What does the Anti-Vax community and a clogged toilet have in common?

Both will leave you waist deep in shit if you tend to ignore them.

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A wife calls her husband.

"The plumber is gonna come in 7, to fix the clogged sink."

"Oh no. You think he's still angry at me from the last time?"

"What happened last time?"

"He said he's here to replace the toilet. So I pissed on him"

What always clogged the toilet on the USS Enterprise?

Captain's Log

My nose gets clogged and unclogged periodically

It's sinusoidal

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I was really on my game today. Then the toilet clogged.

Now I'm all flush-turd.

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I'm tired of my wife complaining about the clogged septic system...

She keeps bringing that shit up.

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This morning the toilet was clogged...

and me and Dad insisted we only did #1.

One of us is full of crap and the other is full of crap.

My nose was clogged the other day.

A dutch woman kicked me right in the face.

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"Honey come here a minute!" called Jenny.

"What is it?" said Tim entering the bathroom.

"I thought you might like to know", whispered Jenny, "I'm completely shaven down there."

Tim raised an eyebrow

"You know what that means." Jenny said seductively.

"Oh, I know what that means." said Tim.

"The fucking dra...

My wife didn't like the wooden shoes I made for her, tried to flush them down the toilet.

Now the damn thing's clogged.

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A Married Woman Tries to Spice Up Her Sex Life

Woman: Hey baby, I just shaved my Pussy. Do you know what that means?...........
Man: Yes, the fucking shower drain is clogged again.

A lawyer, a priest and a schoolboy were sitting side by side on a plane.

Suddenly, they watched as one by one, the engines stopped working as the ash from the volcano they flew over clogged them.

The pilot announced sadly, “There’s not a damn thing we can do. We’re going to crash. Thank you for flying with us.”

While everyone was panicking, the three went t...

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Jeff was running late for a union meeting, and really needed to take a dump.

Finding the men's room clogged, he went up a floor in the auditorium, to find another bathroom. When he got up the stairs, he found a long hallway, leading to a door.

He opened the door, and found himself in a dimly lit attic.

His stomach gurgled, just as he spotted some light comin...

I lost 1kg on the first day of the pandemic

Coincidentally, my toilet's clogged.

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I came home to find candle light in my dining table,my favourite meatloaf in the oven and my wife dressed up in lingerie

She came close to me and whispered " I shaved my vagina . Do you know what that means ?"

"Oh fuck , you clogged the drains again! Where is the plunger? "

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Doctors of reddit - who is that one patient you really wish you'd seen again?

It was actually during my junior year. A man, about 50, came in with walking difficulties - you could tell he was really struggling when he arrived at the surgery and even looked uncomfortable when he sat down. I was expecting a leg, hip or even back complaint but once the door was shut he admitted ...

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Last week I decided to finally let go of all the shit that was left from the last decade.

Clogged the bathroom tho

There was a family of moles underground.

They were just relaxing down there when the father mole pokes his head out the hole and says “wow, I smell sugar”. The mother mole is interested so she pokes her head out the hole and exclaims” wow I smell glucose!” Then the mother mole calls her son over and he says “ holy cow I smell fructose!” Th...

There once was an apple farm...

...which was ran by an old farmer, his daughter, and a hired hand. One day the daughter and the hired hand were working in the cider mill when one of the cider vats became clogged. The hired hand put on a long rubber glove and set to work un-clogging it. Just then, he received a phone call from the ...

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My girlfriend went to the bathroom

When she was done she said the toilet was clogged.

I told her even the toilet is tired of her shit

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Best jokes come from real life. This happened this morning.

The toilet is clogged. My wife and I both insist we've only gone #1.

One of us is full of crap and the other one is full of crap.

Who’s going the wrong way?

A man is listening to the radio in his car when the broadcast is interrupted: “Attention! Attention! A driver is heading down the highway in the wrong direction”

The man scans the road, clogged with oncoming traffic, and nutters to himself, “What do you mean *a* driver? I see hundreds of the...

Sean Bean is walking down the street

Heard you guys like long OC.

 

Sean Bean is walking down the street, enjoying his Sunday night. Suddenly, a black paneled van pulls up next to him. Four massive dudes in ski masks wearing all black leap out and try to grab him. Sean remembers his GoT training and manages to ta...

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Jim the Plumber announces that he is running for office. Now he is appearing on a news show to discuss his candidacy.

HOST: “So Jim, what got you into politics?”

JIM: “Well, ya know, recently plumbin’ don’t pay very well, and I just wanted to try something’ new, I guess.”

HOST: “So you have NO political experience whatsoever?”

JIM: “Nope. My field is in plumbin’, sir.”

HOST: “Don’t you t...

Found a wooden shoe in my toilet

it was clogged



saw on last comic standing

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