Clogged Jokes - 30 Hilarious Clogged Jokes

What’s worse than having diarrhea and a clogged toilet?

Nothing, please someone help me out

A doctor's toilet gets clogged up

He calls a plumber. Plumber shows up, unclogs the toilet and gives the doctor bill for $200.

Doctor: $200? For 15 minutes worth of work? That's $800 an hour! I'm a top neurosurgeon in this city, 15 years of medical school, 3 years of residence, and even I don't make $800 an hour!

Plum...

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Some times this world makes me feel like a clogged toilet.

I just can't take any more of this shit.

It can get hairy.

A woman walks out of the shower, winks at her boyfriend, and says, "Honey, I shaved myself down there. Do you know what that means?"

The boyfriend says, "Yeah, it means the drain is clogged again."

My nose gets clogged and unclogged periodically

It's sinusoidal

What always clogged the toilet on the USS Enterprise?

Captain's Log

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This morning the toilet was clogged...

and me and Dad insisted we only did #1.

One of us is full of crap and the other is full of crap.

A husband and wife are having breakfast

The wife asks him: ‘Honey could you take a look at the bathroom door, it seems a little stuck’

‘Do I look like a carpenter?’

‘And the toilet is also clogged.. i’d take a look at that as well’

‘Do I look like a plumber?’

‘Oh and theres a tile loose on our kitchen floor’...

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I was really on my game today. Then the toilet clogged.

Now I'm all flush-turd.

My nose was clogged the other day.

A dutch woman kicked me right in the face.

What did the fish say to the beaver?

"Excuse me sir, you've clogged my toilet."

There was a wooden shoe in my toilet.

It was clogged. I think it was sabot-age.

What causes a pirate to have a heart attack?

Something clogged their arrrrrrteries

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What does the Anti-Vax community and a clogged toilet have in common?

Both will leave you waist deep in shit if you tend to ignore them.

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Best jokes come from real life. This happened this morning.

The toilet is clogged. My wife and I both insist we've only gone #1.

One of us is full of crap and the other one is full of crap.

I have my own tunnel of love!

Other people call it a severely clogged artery, but I don't care.

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A wife calls her husband.

"The plumber is gonna come in 7, to fix the clogged sink."

"Oh no. You think he's still angry at me from the last time?"

"What happened last time?"

"He said he's here to replace the toilet. So I pissed on him"

My wife didn't like the wooden shoes I made for her, tried to flush them down the toilet.

Now the damn thing's clogged.

A lawyer, a priest and a schoolboy were sitting side by side on a plane.

Suddenly, they watched as one by one, the engines stopped working as the ash from the volcano they flew over clogged them.

The pilot announced sadly, “There’s not a damn thing we can do. We’re going to crash. Thank you for flying with us.”

While everyone was panicking, the three went t...

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A Married Woman Tries to Spice Up Her Sex Life

Woman: Hey baby, I just shaved my Pussy. Do you know what that means?...........
Man: Yes, the fucking shower drain is clogged again.

I lost 1kg on the first day of the pandemic

Coincidentally, my toilet's clogged.

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"Honey come here a minute!" called Jenny.

"What is it?" said Tim entering the bathroom.

"I thought you might like to know", whispered Jenny, "I'm completely shaven down there."

Tim raised an eyebrow

"You know what that means." Jenny said seductively.

"Oh, I know what that means." said Tim.

"The fucking dra...

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Last week I decided to finally let go of all the shit that was left from the last decade.

Clogged the bathroom tho

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I came home to find candle light in my dining table,my favourite meatloaf in the oven and my wife dressed up in lingerie

She came close to me and whispered " I shaved my vagina . Do you know what that means ?"

"Oh fuck , you clogged the drains again! Where is the plunger? "

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My girlfriend went to the bathroom

When she was done she said the toilet was clogged.

I told her even the toilet is tired of her shit

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Jeff was running late for a union meeting, and really needed to take a dump.

Finding the men's room clogged, he went up a floor in the auditorium, to find another bathroom. When he got up the stairs, he found a long hallway, leading to a door.

He opened the door, and found himself in a dimly lit attic.

His stomach gurgled, just as he spotted some light comin...

So a pimpled man goes to the doctor...

He comes in, but refuses to sit down. The nurse asks if there is anything she could help him with.

He waves her away politely, and holds his suitcase in the air, bumps the top of it and an entire stool comes folding out. He places the stool on the ground and tries to small talk with the nurse...

Who’s going the wrong way?

A man is listening to the radio in his car when the broadcast is interrupted: “Attention! Attention! A driver is heading down the highway in the wrong direction”

The man scans the road, clogged with oncoming traffic, and nutters to himself, “What do you mean *a* driver? I see hundreds of the...

Found a wooden shoe in my toilet

it was clogged

saw on last comic standing

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Doctors of reddit - who is that one patient you really wish you'd seen again?

It was actually during my junior year. A man, about 50, came in with walking difficulties - you could tell he was really struggling when he arrived at the surgery and even looked uncomfortable when he sat down. I was expecting a leg, hip or even back complaint but once the door was shut he admitted ...

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