My left nostril is always very congested.

You could say it doesn't get a lot of air time.

funniest joke you'll hear today about congestive heart failure

Assuming you are healthy, your heart when working normally, acts, sort of like a pump, or rather, two pumps. You see, your right heart expands to draw deoxygenated blood in from the body, and contracts to pump it out to the lungs to become oxygenated. And at the same time, your left heart draws in o...

A truck carrying Vicks Vapor Rub overturned on the highway, but amazingly traffic was fine.

No congestion for hours!

What do you call a congested elephant?

Junk in the trunk.

What did the the psychologist say to his patient, who hears voices, about her congestion?

It’s all in your head.

What did the man who blamed his nasal congestion on the federal reserve do in response?

Sudafed

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

According to a recent medical study, masturbation helps to ease congestion.

The traffic cops on my afternoon commute did not agree, however.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It is known that masturbation eases congestion

"I swear officer, I was only trying to help traffic move along!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An English father sits his son down to talk

English Father: Son, have you tested positive for Coronavirus?

Son: No dad

English Father: Do you have any of the symptoms

Son: No dad

English Father: Do you have a cough?

Son: No dad

English Father: Do you have a runny nose or congested nose

Son: No...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Glaswegian joke that can be applied anywhere.

Three pieces of tarmac (asphalt for Americans) are in the pub at the end of the day.
One says, "I'm on the Great Western Road. You wouldn't believe what I have to go through every day! Cars, endless traffic, congestion, it'll make you pure mental!"
The next one says, "You think you're in a bad...

Lorry crashes and leaves the road full of boxes.

Don't worry though, it was just boxes of Vicks vapour rub....


There was no congestion at all.

Before I get into Spring Break traffic, I cover my car in Mucinex...

It really thins out the congestion.

A lorry carrying 25 tons of Vicks Vapour Rub has overturned on the M6, near Birmingham, spilling it's load onto the carriage way.

The Police have said, there will be no congestion for at least 12hrs.

A tyrant decides to check on the patience of his people, so he decides to play a game... (Modified political joke)

(Just for the record, this joke I believe is from Arabic and is supposed to portray a certain nation, but I've modified it a little)

He tells his advisers to set up a roadblock in the entrance of the capital to see if anyone speaks up. Nobody does.

After a while, he orders his advisers...

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