Cleopatra fell out of her boat but wouldn’t admit she was wet.
She was in denial.
The stupid criminal hall of shame.
STUPID-CRIMINAL HALL OF SHAM:
Kentucky: Two men tried to pull the front off a cash machine by running a chain from the machine to the bumper of their pickup truck. Instead of pulling the front panel off the machine, though, they pulled the bumper off their truck. Scared, they left the scene a...
𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗡𝗮𝗺𝗲'𝘀 𝗙𝗼𝗻𝘁... 𝗖𝗹𝗮𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗰 𝗙𝗼𝗻𝘁.
The year was 2020.
By some miracle, Julius Caesar woke up in his grave.
Yes, the same dude from Ancient Rome who got whacked by Brutus and his buddies.
The stab wounds on his back had healed and he was alive again.
He dug himself out of his grave and looked at himself in...
My wife and I agreed for some Roman foreplay (NSFW)
I agreed to be Caesar and my wife was the beautiful Cleopatra
I got stabbed 23 times
What do you call Cleopatra when she’s depressed?
The Queen of Denial.
Caesar on Cleopatra:
I, Caesar, when I learned of the fame Of Cleopatra, I straightway laid claim. Ahead of my legions, I invaded her regions, I saw, I conquered, I came.
Why was Cleopatra sitting on a boat, sad, going down a river?
Because she was in denial.
A fitness freak is out for a run one day. She's having a great run, tunes playing through her ear buds, sun shining.
As she sprints blissfully across a road, a massive truck ploughs into her.
The next thing she's aware of is she's standing in a shiny, beautiful place and inately realises, this must be Heaven.
Sure enough, an angel approaches her and tells her, yes she's now in Heaven and gives her a ...
What did Octavian say when he stormed Cleopatra's gardens?
An English tourist in a Cairo marketplace was offered a large skull by a street trader
"This is the skull of Great Queen Cleopatra for only One hundred English pound." said the trader.
The tourist says, "No thank you, it's far too expensive."
Then the trader produces a small skull and says, "How about this one?"
The tourist asks, "Whose skull is that?"
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
Cleopatra had it all: perfect tits, a tight little waist, legs that didn't quit...
...and an absolutely killer asp
Why was Cleopatra angry?
She was on her pyramid.
Stolen from Whose Line Is It Anyway.
When was Cleopatra at her most irritable?
When she was on her pyramid.