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Eunuch Jokes

What should you call your servant?

Anything you like. He is not coming.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The thing about being a ...

... is that you no longer give a .

What award goes to the who creates law and order among all the other eunuchs?

The no ball peace prize.

A lethargic checks himself into the hospital.

"Doctor, I've lost all my energy. What's wrong with me?"

The doctors run a series of tests, but they can't find anything wrong with the .

"I'm sorry, but we don't know what's causing your fatigue. We've tested for anemia, depression, sleeping disorders, and we've turned up nothin...

What are the best puns?

The ones you never see coming.

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Why was the Hoarder upset?

Because they removed his junk

Did you hear the bad news about r/eunuchs?

They're losing members every day.

An abderite sees an alogside a woman

He asks him: "is this your wife?". The answers: "eunuchs can't have wives".

"So is it your daughter?".

I browsed through Philogelos ("Love of Laughter") which is the oldest joke collection that has survived. It is written in ancient Greek. Also, it was pretty funny when I dicov...

I planned to go to the costume party as a ...

... but I couldn't quite pull it off.

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My brother moved to Dublin to start up a gym for eunuchs...

Yeah, he called it "Cockless and Muscles".

TIL: Historically, eunuchs have been really wealthy and politically powerful.

It’s part of their compensation package.

Did ya hear why they're closing down the eunuchs club?

Cause they lost all their members.

I was trying to form a club for eunuchs at my high school...

But there weren't enough members.

A translated Chinese Joke

*Apologies in advance, as this joke does not translate cleanly. I had to adapt part of it so it could make sense*






A (think Varys from Game of Thrones) was wandering around town.

Back in ancient China, many high ranking jobs had castration as a requireme...

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King Arthur is preparing to leave Camelot on a lengthy quest, but news has reached his ears that his wife may have taken on a lover.

"But... *who*...?" he asks Merlin.




"Fear not, Arthur - I know how we can protect Guinevere's chastity in your absence and also discover the identity of her lover. Watch this!"




The magician snapped his fingers and, into thin air, appeared a magical, samite chast...

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What's the similarity between becoming an and becoming a toreador?

Both cases, it takes balls to do it.

What happens if you castrate a corn cob?

It becomes a -Corn

I've always wondered how those eunuchs were able to stay out in the cold for so long ...

They must've frozen their ... oh ... wait ...

What do you call a unicorn that’s lost its horn?

A -horn!

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What do you call a dog with no legs?

Doesn’t matter! The dog isn’t going to come anyways.

But what do you call a with no legs?

Still doesn’t matter! He’s not going to anyways!

What does a castrated clown ride?

A -cycle!

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I’m writing a masters thesis on the social hierarchies of Ancient Middle Eastern Kingdoms. It’s a pretty serious paper so I want to lend it some levity by adding a joke about eunuchs.

I’m just not sure if I’ve got the balls to do it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

() What do you call it when someone cuts off their and sticks it to their forehead?

A -horn.

For the life of me, I cannot find a trumpet for my castrated friend! I guess they really are...

horns

How does a horse breeder look after his stock of mares?

With a -orn.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a stallion that's had its balls chopped off?

A -orn

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A blonde hooks up with a guy at a bar having met earlier on Tinder.

Straight away, she starts flirting with him, subtly at first, but it quickly escalates.

"I don't usually get much response to my profile, why'd you pick me?" asks the guy.

"Well, in all honesty, I mostly use Tinder for ", claims the blonde, "You're cute and I like what you wrote in...

11 jokes from the world's oldest joke book

1. A Student Dunce Goes Swimming

"A student dunce went swimming and almost drowned. So now he swears he'll never get into water until he's really learned to swim."

2 An Intellectual Visits a Friend

"An intellectual came to check in on a friend who was seriously ill. When the man...

Spirit animal

What's the spirit animal of the LGBTQ community?


-orns

Did you hear about the castrated hipster?

He had a very style.

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