Two Chemists walk into a bar...

Two chemists walk into a bar. The first says "Give me an H2O!" The second says "Give me an H2O too!" The second chemist dies.

Two chemists walk into a bar. The first says “I’ll take a glass of H2O.” The second says “I’ll take a glass of H2O too.”

*Since the bartender is not a chemist, he has no idea that H2O2 is the chemical formula for hydrogen peroxide, and gives both chemists a glass of water.*

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Two chemists walk into a bar.

Two chemists walk into a bar.

The first one says, "I'll have some H2O."

The second says, "I'll have some water too. But why'd you order it like that? We aren't at work."

The first chemist excuses himself and weeps in the bathroom. His assassination plot had failed.


Two chemists walk into a Bar

chemist 1: I’ll have some H2O

chemist 2: I’ll have some H2O also

chemist 2’s arch nemesis disguised as the bartender: [under breath] so close....

Why are chemists good at solving problems?

They have all the solutions.

What do alcoholics and chemists have in common?

They both view alcohol as a solution.

Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.

3 chemists walk into a bar after having shared a banana.

The first chemist said, "I'll have H2O".

The second chemist said "I'll have H2O, too".

The third chemist was confused, and said " I'll have HO, too".

The first one was OK, the second one died, and the third one was OK2.

Why can't chemists dogs' ever find their bones?

Because they barium

When chemists die,

we Barium.

I would make a chemistry joke, but seems like all the chemists here...


This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two Chemists Walk into a Bar

“I’ll have an H2O,” one scientist says.

"I’ll have an H2O, too,” the other says.

The bartender gives them both water because he is able to distinguish the boundary tones that dictate the grammatical function of homonyms in coda position as well as pragmatic context.

Two chemists walk into a bar

They walk up to the bartender and the first one says:

"I'll have a glass of H2O."

The other then says to his companion:

"Why don't you just say water? I understand that we're chemists an all that, but you don't need to walk around using random terms!"

The first chemist, f...

Two chemists walk into a bar.

The first chemist says "I'll have some H20."

The second chemist says "I'll have some H20 too."

The bartender, catching on quickly, gives them both glasses of water.

The second chemist steps out behind the bar and begins crying, realizing that his suicide attempt has ...

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