UPJOKE
frito-laychinabrazilpepsicodallastexasfritosplanterscanadaherr'smexicocolombiaargentinavenezuelanorth america

Cheeto Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Guy goes to Doc because his dick is orange.

A guy goes to the doctor because his dick is orange;

Doctor looks at it and say, “yep, it’s orange alright”

Guy says, “why is it orange doc? What could it be?”

Doc thinks for a minute… then asks the guy, “do you work around dyes or paints or anything like that?”

Guy says,...

How are Flaming Hot Cheetos and a Gun the same in school?

Everyone will suddenly start acting like your best friend.

What's the difference between Trump and a cheeto?

One is fragile, orange and can't run a country. The other one is a tasty snack.

I like my pick-up lines how I like my cheetos

Dangerously Cheesy

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man haunted by his sins went to the church for a confession with the priest...

There's a devout Catholic man who once committed a regrettable act – he gave his best friend a blowjob while intoxicated. Filled with remorse, he decided to seek forgiveness from God and headed to the church.

Inside the church, he approached the priest and says he wants to confessed his sin, ...

"What's that in the bag?" "An AK-47." "No next to that." "A bag of cheetos."

"You can't bring that into the movie."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Guy with an Orange Penis

Guy with an Orange Penis goes to the Drx and says "Doc, my penis turned orange"

The Doctor says " that's odd. Have you changed your behaviors recently, or diet, or is there an increase of stress in your life?"

Guy replies back " No, No, and no"

The Doctor says " Ok that's odd. N...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

bright orange penis

A man goes to the doctor and tells him that he has a bright orange penis. The doctor takes a look and sure enough, the man's penis is bright orange.

The doctor asks the man about his daily habits to see if he could get a clue about the cause of the malady.

The man says "My day is pret...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's The Difference Between Donald Trump & a Bag of Cheetos?

One is a cheesy sack of toxic crap that's pumped up with orange dye and hot air, and is sold to ignorant masses with no taste.

The other is a corn-based snack food.

Did you hear about the guy who robbed the Cheetos factory?

He was caught orange fingered.

I finally found out who is stealing my hot-Cheetos

Caught him red-handed

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man goes to the doctor because his penis has turned orange.

After a thorough physical examination:

Doctor: "We can't find anything physically wrong with you that would turn your penis orange. I'll be honest, I've never seen anything like this, perhaps it's a psychological issue. Have you been under a lot of stress lately, maybe at your job?"

Ma...

What do you get when you mix a cheetah and a rhino?

A Cheeto

I went to the bar today and asked the bartender to make me an Orange Cheeto...

"I've never heard of that," he replies.

"Well, nobody really knows what it's made of," I reply, "but I've heard it's heavily influenced by a White Russian."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How is Russian election meddling like stripping off all your clothes and riding a bicycle made out of Cheetos?

If you don't be careful, you'll end up with an Orange Asshole.

Did you hear about that guy going around stealing everybody's Flamin' Hot Cheetos?

He was caught red-handed!

...I'll see myself to the door.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A young guy goes to a doctor, complaining that his penis has turned orange.

A young guy goes to a doctor, complaining that his penis has turned orange. The man looks healthy enough, dressed well, clean shaven, etc., but when the doctor asks him to pull down his pants, sure enough, his penis is bright orange! The doctor has never seen a case like this before, so he begins to...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Me: "Doctor doctor, the Covid pandemic has made my dick go orange..."

Doctor: "That's strange, can you tell me about your daily routine?"

Me: "Well we've been stuck in the house so I've been pretty much just watching porn and eating Cheetos"

There's a new machine at my gym.

I used it, but after an hour I started feeling sick...

It's got Snickers, cheetos, Peanuts... Everything!

A peanut told a bad joke at a party

Everyone at the party roasted him

On the other hand, a cheeto's bad joke resulted in him becoming the president of the United States

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy goes to see his doctor

The doctor, as per routine, asks, "What brings you in today?"

The guy sighs and says, "My penis is orange."

The doctor looks up from his chart, slightly confused and askes, "Is that a metaphor or...."

The guy stops him and says, "No, doctor. My dick is bright orange."

Eve...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Guy goes to the Doctors.

Guy: I need you to look at my Penis, it has turned orange.

Doctor: Wow, I have never seen anything like this, do you

work with chemicals at all.?

Guy: No I don't work anymore.

Doctor: So what do you do then.?

Guy: Watch porn all day and eat Wotsits and Cheetos.

I need a recommendation for a good breakfast wine.

Something that would compliment baloney pancakes - or a nice Cheetos frittata.

(Bonus points if I can make it myself in the bathtub.)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man goes to his doctor complaining about his dick...

"Doctor! My dick, it's turning orange!" "How many times do I have to tell you," responded the doc, "You have to stop eating Cheetos while you're masturbating!"

Note: This joke was much funnier when I heard it in a comedy club told by a quadriplegic man!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy goes to the doctor and says, "Doc my pecker has turned orange".

The doctor takes a look and says, "I've never seen anything like this before. We'll have to run some tests to see if you have been poisoned or something. Where do you work, a chemical plant?"

The guy answers, "No. As a matter of fact I've been out of work for a couple of months now, and I've ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Army major is assigned to a troubled base

After numerous reports of lax discipline and unruly behavior at a particular Army post, a major is assigned to take charge and straighten the place out.

He arrives and indeed, the place is a mess - nobody's shaved, beer bottles everywhere, grubby uniforms, unpolished boots. Outraged, the majo...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy goes to see his doctor

He says, "Doc, this is a bit embarrassing, but I didn't know who else to turn to so..."

Doc: "What's the problem?"

Man: "Well, my.. my penis, it's turned, it's uh.. well it's bright orange."

Doc: "Orange? Wow. Never heard of that. Let's have a look."

The man drops his ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

NSFW An Unusual Affliction

A man goes to his doctor to complain about what he believes is a social disease he's contracted.

"Doc, you've got to help me. My dick has turned completely orange!"

The Doc runs all the usual diagnostic tests, but they all come back showing he has a clean bill of health.

Baffled...

Riddle me this: What's Hot N Red, Best in Bed?

A bag of Flamin' Hot Cheetos cause I'm alone

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Man goes to the doctor with a complaint

When the doctor asks what's wrong, the man replies that his penis has turned orange. The doctor looks and verifies his complaint and then orders a series of tests to find out the cause. After not getting any answers from the tests, he asks the patient what he does during the day to see if this can n...

Junk foods are so versatile!

A bag of Lays can be used as fuel for a fire in an emergency, you can have finger sword fights with Bugles, and now, a Cheeto has won the United States Presidential Election!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Have you heard the one about the man who's dick was turning orange?

He liked to eat Cheetos while watching porn.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An orange Johnson

So a guy goes to the doctor because his penis is bright orange.

The doctor examines him and says, "I've never seen anything like this before. Are you under a lot of stress at work?"

The guy says, "No."

The doctor says, "If you don't mind my asking, what do you do for a living?"<...

The secretary at my dentist office told me "The waiting room is just to the left, make yourself at home."

I've been back there every night since then to watch Cops and eat Cheetos in my underwear.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Joe goes to the doctor because his penis has turned yellow.

Upon hearing Joe's description of the problem, the doctor examines Joe and exclaims "Wow you're right. It's bright yellow! I've never seen such a thing. How long has it been yellow?"

Joe says "I only noticed it about two days but I dont know how it happened doc."

The doc says "Well, ha...

What is an adulterers favorite snack?

Cheetos.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man goes to see the doctor and tells the doc that his penis has turned orange.

The doctor looks at it and says, “I haven’t ever seen any thing like this before in my entire medical career. What do you do for a living? Do you work around any hazardous materials?” The man says no.

The doctor asks the man what he does all day. The man responds, “Nothing.” The doctor is rea...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A drunk Guy goes to the doctor with a totally orange penis.

doc asks the guy, “Any itching?”


“No.”

“Used any weird lotions or creams?”

“No.”

“Is this recent?”

“Oh, the last few weeks, since I got a new job.”

“Anything different about your routine since the new job?”
...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy went to the doctor complaining of an orange penis.

The doctor looked at him rather puzzled, as he'd never seen anything like this before.

Doctor: Do you use any unusual chemicals at work?

Patient: No I'm unemployed.

Doctor: How about hobbies, is there anything you do in your spare time that could cause this?

Patient: No I...

Asked my co-worker if saw the big news report...

He said which one, The Mac 'n Cheetos announcement or the UK doing something?


True story, from 3 min ago... 'Murica

I'm on a new diet where I can only eat and drink things where I know what the ingredients mean.

I can now tell you every ingredients use in Cheetos, how it's obtained, and the molecular structure.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man goes to his doctor...

with an unusual complaint. He drops his pants and has an orange penis. The doctor has never seen this before. Everything else seems normal. So the doc starts going through the history, when it started, etc. Still nothing. Questions about his job, nothing unusual. He finally asks him, “what...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Man goes to the Dr because his D!ck has turned Orange.

Man: Doctor, I have this orange dick, its freaking me out, have you ever heard of such a thing?


Doctor: Hmm interesting, mind if I take a peak?


So the man breaks out his bright orange man meat for the doctor to inspect.


Doctor: By god! You're not kidding, you just wo...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man went to the Doctor because his dick had turned bright orange (note, this is NOT a Trump joke)

The Doctor examined his penis, and exclaimed, "Well, I'm stumped, and have never seen this condition before. Tell me, what did you do last night?"

The man said "Well, after getting home from work, I watched some porn and ate some Cheetos"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man goes to his doctor

A man goes to his doctor.
Man: "I'm worried doc. My penis is bright orange".



Doctor:" Well let me take a look"
The man takes out his penis and lo and behold it's bright orange.

The doctor scratches his head and asks
"Have you eaten anything unusual lately or been a...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Doctor my dick has turned orange..

A man walks into a doctors office and says "doc my dicks turned orange!" So the doctor says "well have you had unprotected sex? Or done any illicit drugs?" The man replies "no doc I've been home all week watching movies and eatin cheetos."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Orange Dick Bad

A guy goes to his doctor and says "Doc, ya gotta help me. My dick is turning orange!"

Doctor pauses to think and asks the guy to drop his pants so he can have a look. Damned if the guy's penis isn't orange! Doc tells the guy, "This is very strange. Sometimes things like this are caused by a l...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Donald Trump visited the White House doctor...

**Trump:** I got a problem doc, my penis has turned orange!!

**Dr Jackson:** Sounds bad. I better take a look.

**Trump:** (drops his shorts) Bad enough my face is orange but if this gets out I'm sunk with the ladies....whaddaya think, doc?.

**Dr Jackson:** (takes a look) Yep,...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A visit to the doctor

A man goes to see his doctor about a symptom he's noticed recently.

"Doc, I think something's wrong with my penis. It has a distinctly orange color to it lately."

"Well, have you been tested for any STDs?"

"Yes - all the results were clear, so that can't be it."

"Have yo...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man goes to the doctor

The receptionist asks him what he's there for, and the man whispers "my dick's orange."

The receptionist is a bit shocked, but tells him to go into examination room #1.

The doctor comes into the room shortly after, reads his chart, and says "Is this a joke?"

The man shakes his h...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy goes to see the doctor . . .

. . . and pulls down his pants to reveal his penis is bright orange.

"Hmmm," the doctor says, "have you had any unprotected sex in the last 6 months?"

"No!" the man grumbled.

"Well, have you been to any 3rd-world countries lately?"

No, I *haven't*," the man said nastily.<...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man visits the doctor...

And the doctor asks,"What seems to be the problem?", and the man says,"well, it's turns out that my penis has turned orange." So the doctor takes a look, and he cannot figure out what it could be. The doctor says,"I'm not sure what what the problem is. What have you been doing for the past 48 hours?...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man goes to a doctor

And says "Doc, this is really embarrassing and has been happening for way to long before I finally came in to see you. My dick is turning orange."

"Orange?" the doctor replies "Drop your trousers and let's have a look."

The man sheepishly drops his drawers and reveals his neon orange w...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man goes to the doctor...

A guy visits the doctor because his penis had turned orange.
The doctor examines his orange member and concludes something's wrong.
He asks the man: "Did you do something funny during sex lately?" The man responds: "No, I haven't had sex for a long time."

The doctor continues: "Did you ...

Long: An underaged ginger walks into a bar...

The bartender ask for his ID. The ginger stops, making a big show of reaching into his wallet and pulling out an obviously fake card.

"What do you think yah trying to pull?" says the bartender, "This ain't no underage drinking bar. Scram punk!"

So the ginger gets kicked out on the stre...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So this guy is having penis issues....

and heads to the doctor to find out what is going on. The doc tells him to drop is pants so he can have a look at the man's member. The doctor see not just a penis, but a bright orange penis. The doctor is baffled. He takes sample of the infection and sends them to the lab for identification. H...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.