UPJOKE
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Duck in a hard hat and hi-vis vest walks into a bar.

A duck wearing a hard hat and a hi-vis walks into a bar. Looking exhausted, he removes his hat, takes a seat and asks for a beer.

The barman eyes him as he pours. “I haven’t seen you in here before,” he says.

“Yeah,” replies the duck. “Do you know the big building surrounded by scaffol...

My friend decided to take up wood working and he heard this joke at his new work place

A joiner makes sure that what he makes fits with the rest down to the tenth of a millimeter.

A carpenter makes sure it fits down to a millimeter.

A mason makes sure it fits down to the centimeter.

If the painter makes it to the right address, it's a good thing.

Funniest Medical Joke

Doctor to Nurse: Please give me anesthesia?
New Joiner Nurse: But sir only one injection was available here.
Doctor: We also need only one.
Nurse: Sir I already have been give you.
Doctor: When?
Nurse: When you said
Doctor: I am feeling sleepiness.
Nurse: Sir i thi...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It's Spring Break, and Little Johnny has been home for a week.

He's been tearing the house up and breaking things every day. Finally his Mom has had enough.

"LITTLE JOHNNY! I'm sick of you destroying everything! They're building a house across the street. Go hang out with the foreman and don't come back until you've learned something about construction. ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Insults

She had a fanny like a stab wound in a gorilla's back

Look's like she's been dunking for apples in a chip pan

Had more hands up her than Sooty!

She's got a face like a dog lickin piss off a nettle

It looks like she's been set on fire and put out with a golf shoe!

S...

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