Bring Back Jokes - 16 Hilarious Bring Back Jokes

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The Doctor tells the 90 Year Old Man that he needs a semen sample. "Bring back the specimen tomorrow."

The next day the old man comes back with the jar in hand. It's as clean and empty as it was the previous day.
"Did you have a little trouble?" asked the doctor.
A pause, then he says, "When I got home I tried, you know? First, with the right hand. Next, with the left hand. Nothing. That I ask...

An American woman goes to Italy on business and asks her husband what she could bring back for him.

He laughs and says, "An Italian girl!"

When she returns home he picks her up at the airport and asks, "So, honey, how was the trip?"

"Very good," she replies.

"And did you bring something home for me?"

"Something, did I forget?" she asks.

"The Italian girl I asked ...

My friend keeps trying to bring back beyblades

I just want to let it RIP

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A poor Irish family...

A poor Irish family lives on a farm and they rely on their single cow for income.

One morning, the father walks outside to find their cow dead.

"There is nothing that could help get us out of poverty now," says the dad as he shoots himself.

The mom walks outside and sees the dad...

Why can't President Trump bring back hanging?

Because of all the fake noose.

The teacher asked little Johnny if he could write a song using the words “analyze” and “anatomy”

This was Johnny’s response:

My analyze over the ocean
My analyze over the sea
My analyze over the ocean
Oh bring back my anatomy!

I wish Apple would bring back Steve

Wozniak.

(Can we bring back the good old Chuck Norris short jokes people?-I'll start first)

Chuck Norris is the first guy to have made a knot out of a diamond.

Which rapper would you rather bring back from the dead?

- Tupac
- Biggie Smalls
- Eazy E
- Meek Mills

An elderly man in Louisiana ...

... had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees.

One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there f...

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My girlfriend told me to go out and bring back something that made her look sexy.

I came home drunk.

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A wrinkly old women decides to bring back the "spark" in her marriage...

She walks into her husband wearing nothing but bright red lingerie, her husband sees her and says: "What the hell are you wearing?! You know I have sensitive eyes and that color hurts them! change immediately!"

So she does what her husband says but still wants to have sex, so she changes to w...

A man goes on vacation to Israel with his wife and his stepmother.

While in Israel, his stepmother died at the hotel.

The people there told him:

"Sir, if you want to bury her back in the United States, it's going to cost you $5,000 to bring back her corpse. But since she died at the hotel, we can do the funeral here in Israel for free.

The ma...

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It's funny how certain scents can bring back memories of people we associated with those scents

like how I remember my ex every time I take a shit.

We should hold a reddit-wide vote on whether or not to bring back the upvote/downvote counter.

But how will we count the votes?

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After 10 years of impeccable policing, Roderick was still only a captain.

So Rod went to the prefect and asked for a promotion. Only the prefect couldn’t stand Rod, so he told him:

“You will be promoted when you complete an assignment of the highest importance. You must travel to India and bring back .... erm ... a pair of crocodile shoes!"

Roderick salutes ...

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