Botched Jokes - 16 Hilarious Botched Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a way overpriced, botched Beverly Hills boob job?

A Nordstrom Rack

My doctor apologized for the botched circumcision that left me impotent.

I told him no hard feelings.

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The Botched Executions

Obligatory first time posting so I'm hoping I follow all the guidelines and you all like the joke!

A Priest, Lawyer and Engineer are traveling together in a foreign country and unfortunately get arrested. They are all three set to be executed by guillotine.

The Priest is all set up, a ...

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Did you hear about the Rabbi who got fired after a botched circumcision?

He got the sac.

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Did you hear about the doctor who botched a vasectomy?

He missed and got the sack

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Did you hear about the surgeon who botched Kim Jong Un surgery?

Yeah, me neither.

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I once tried to make a joke about a botched lethal injection...

...but the execution failed.

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A surgeon was fired after a botched vasectomy.

Still got a severance package.

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Botched suicide

A very old woman realizes that she's seen and done everything and the time has come to depart from this world. After considering various methods of doing away with herself, she decides to shoot herself through the heart. Not wanting to make a mistake, she phones her doctor and asks him the exact lo...

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What did the Finnish surgeon say after he botched a surgery?

Please don’t Soumi.

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I had botched eye surgery recently and now I can't stop making puns...

My jokes are cornea than ever

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It's mayhem in the kitchen, and two chefs are at each other's throats over a botched order....

"I told you the manager wanted cod seasoned with parsley!" yelled the first chef, brandisihing a butcher's knife.

"Well I told you that he wanted mackerel seasoned with paprika!" yelled the other, grabbing a pan of hot oil.

At that point the manager walked in holding a plate, just as b...

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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What am I in for? Well, I used to be a zookeeper, you see...

One day, my boss calls me into her office, and she tells me she's trying to breed dolphins, and she wants my help. And I hear that, and I'm all in, great way to move up in my industry.

So she tells me she's trying to mate these two dolphins, but they're not feeling frisky. She tells me she ha...

A man DIES

He died tragically and unexpectedly in a botched robbery. Devastated, his wife Cindy mourned four several months, leaving the house only to pick up groceries that her doting mother leaves on her doorstep.

The only comfort to her grief was his cat, who is similarly distraught. After several mo...

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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A baby was born with no eyes lids...

So the doctors decided to circumcise him and use the skin to craft new eyes lids.

They botched it though and he came out looking a bit cock-eyed.

The swindler was headed upstairs to visit his friend, the forger...

The swindler was headed upstairs to visit his friend, the forger. The bird he passed along the way was the forger's homing vulture, which was en route to the forger's publisher to make a delivery. Unfortunately, the poor bird had to fly down the stairwell to ground level and out the open terrace sin...

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