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Lovin Jokes

What do you call someone who is desperate for some lovin' from somebody dressed as an animal?

Furrsty.

Last night of Lovin

After his annual checkup, Bob learns that he has a rare disease and 12 hours to live. His wife tearfully says, "Honey, I'm going to give you a night you'll never forget."

They make passionate love with an ardor they haven't felt in years. When they're done, Bob asks his wife, "Can we do it ag...

If lovin' you is ROM...

...I don't wanna' read-write.

My math teacher told me I would be stuck working at McDonalds for the rest of my life

Jokes on her, I'm lovin' it

A young farm couple, Homer and Daisy, got married and just couldn't seem to get enough lovin'. In the morning, before Homer left the house for the fields, they made love.

When Homer came back from the fields, they made love. After supper, they made love. And again at bedtime, they made love.

The problem was their nooner: it took Homer a half hour to travel home and another half hour to return to the fields and he just wasn't getting enough work done.

Fi...

I’m really enjoying one of Stephen King’s most famous movies while eating some fast food.

I guess you could say I’m lovin’ IT.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Mexican guy, a black guy, and a Jewish guy are arguing in a bar...

about their sexual prowess. Eventually, they decide the only way to settle the argument is with a bet - whoever can make their wife scream the longest wins.

The next day they come back to the bar, and the Mexican guy says, "Lo siento, amigos - but I won this bet. I went home and fucked my wi...

Patient: I’m addicted to watching the film Grease.

Psychiatrist: Tell me more, tell me more.

Patient: I make my girlfriend watch it with me every day.

Psychiatrist: Does she put up a fight?

Patient: Sometimes, yeah.

Psychiatrist: Well, that’s women for you... summer lovin’, some aren’t.

Patient: I guess?

Ps...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why are Soviets so bad with the ladies?

They're always Russian the fuckin' and Stalin the lovin'

hehehe

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A very drunk man walks in to a pub

He tells the bartender "bartender, I want a drink. In fact, give everyone in here a drink on me. You have a drink with us, too." The bartender serves everyone a drink of their choosing and himself then hands the drunk man the bill. The drunk man pats himself down looking for his wallet and says "...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do pedophiles and McDonalds have in common?

They are both bad for kids, but *I'm lovin it!*

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A husband bought his wife a new sex toy for her birthday...

and it was voice operated. It was newest model of Vibro-dick: self-propelled and voice activated.

He brought it home to his from the sex shop in a gift wrapped box with a bow. She unwrapped the box and was surprised.

"Honey, I've never used a sex toy. I don't know if I'll like."
...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"FREE BEER FOR LIFE CHALLENGE!"

A Man walks into a bar and sees a sign that reads

"FREE BEER FOR LIFE IF YOU CAN PASS OUR CHALLENGE!"

He asks the bartender, "What's the challenge?"

The bartender says "first you have to finish a 5th of tequila without making a face, then you have to go out back and remove my ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

a classic

A hawk was feeling incredibly horny one day but could not find a suitable female for procreation, in his search he came across a fairly attractive dove and figured "why not". He swooped down and fornicated with said dove. As he flew away the dove shook the loose down from her derriere and said "I'm ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two guys are in a bar, talking about their wives...

First one says: "So there's this problem between me and my wife, whenever I come home after a night of drinking and get in bed, my wife wakes up really pissed and sends me to the couch!"

Other guy says: "Yeah, happened to me before, but I figured that instead of trying to not make any noise,...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One day, the janitor at the zoo is approached by the manager...

"Look, janitor", says the manager. "Our most popular gorilla just died, and its gonna be a couple of weeks before our new gorilla ships in. The kids come from all over just to see this gorilla, and our admission sales are gonna drop dramatically if we don't have a gorilla for the rest of the quarter...

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