My store got blown up yesterday

Business is boomin'

If you think other jokes on this sub have blown up big....

wait until you sea mine!

I sell balloons for 10p each or if you want them blown up it's 15p.

I've adjusted the price to allow for inflation.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three soldiers are blown up in a foxhole

Three soldiers are blown up in a foxhole; a white guy, a jew, and a black guy. The grenade that was thrown in their foxhole explodes and kills all three instantly.

All three of them go to hell. The devil explains to them due to the high number of casualties lately hell is getting overpopulate...

What did the squash say to the cucumber when he saw the pumpkin patch get blown up?

Oh My Gourd!

Donald Trump is visiting a school

He enters one of the classrooms and asks the students if anyone can give him an example of a tragedy.

One little boy stands up and says, "If my best friend was playing in the street when a car came along and killed him, that would be a tragedy."

"No", says Trump. "That would be an ACC...

There once was a man called John O’Malley. When John was young he loved tractors.

He had posters of tractors on his wall, loads of toy tractors, he even named his dog “Tractor”!

One day, while John was driving his favorite tractor, a Massey Ferguson 5710SL, the vehicle caught on fire. Luckily John escaped but not without injury, the tractor had blown up and some shrapnel h...

I took my blow up doll back to the shop, and said

"I only had this blown up for half an hour and it went down on me!"

The guy was most unsympathetic and said that if he'd known that, he'd have charged me an extra $30.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A big brute of a Navy SEAL dies and goes to heaven...

As he’s standing at the pearly gates, Saint Peter beckons him to come nearer.
St. Peter: What is it exactly that you did back on earth?
Navy SEAL: We’ll I’m a big, badass motherfucker, I have 218 confirmed insurgent kills, blown up strongholds killing hundreds of ISIS leaders. Even taken two b...

Why is r/dankchristianmemes so big but not r/dankmuslimmemes?

I thought it would've blown up by now.

An FBI statistician gave me some advice

I asked him, "I'm flying next week. Do you have any tips on how to lower my chances of being blown up by a bomb smuggled onboard by a terrorist?"

He chewed that one over for a while, then answered "Yes. Smuggle a bomb onboard yourself. I've never seen a case where two separate bombs were on t...

A donkey is sitting at a bar...

A donkey is sitting at a bar after a long day’s work carrying kids around on the beach. He’s having a quiet drink by himself when a thoroughbred race horse joins him.

They’re having a a nice time until the pub calls last orders.

As they’re leaving the horse asks the donkey to join him...

4 MBA students.

4 MBA students went out on a night before their exam and were boozing hard. They did not study for the test and thought of a plan to escape. So they went to their dean looking weary and worn out, their dresses covered in grease and dirt.

They told their dean that they had all gone to a weddin...

A pirate ship is blown apart during a battle with the Navy.

A pirate ship is blown up during a battle with the Navy. The only survivors are an old crusty pirate and a pesky parrot. As they float together on some old timbers the parrot asks, "How's your ass?"
The pirate just ignores the parrot. So the parrot asks again, "How's your ass?" Again the pirate...

Did you hear about the guy at the gun store who got fired?

He went ballistic.

Did you hear about the apartment building that got blown up? There were roomers everywhere.

Bob: Do you know why my pool exploded?
Joe: Na.

Did you hear about the power plant employee that went on a shooting spree? People say he went melted down and went nu...

This morning I read about that 14 year boy with a clock they thought was a bomb

...I just checked again and it's really blown up since then

French Jokes

What's the standard issue weapon in the French army? A white flag.

What's the only French martial art? Parkour, the art running away.

Like the entrance to Hogwarts, if you look at the French flag from exactly the right angle (like that of an invading army), it turns white.

An Am...

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