Proximity isn’t everything

but it’s close

Bear & Human encounters

If bears and humans live in close proximity, they can be prepared ahead of time for such encounters. Obtain airhorns and pepper spray.

If the first couple of blasts of an airhorn doesn't scare them off, then run at them with an airhorn blasting. If you get close enough, use the pepper spray...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

You're welcome!

Once upon a time, there was a particularly intelligent sperm cell living inside a particularly large blue whale. From the time it was created, the sperm cell studied diligently and learned a great many things. It read the full text of Wikipedia. It learned languages, history, science. It learned the...

A sanguine tale

Jake and Ruth were blood analysts in a hospital. Given the proximity of the hospital to the highway, really gruesome motor accidents were quite common. So the hospital decided to house a huge supply of blood for emergencies, and these two were employed full time to analyse blood which they got, and ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My Grocery Store Experience

5-7min read. Based on a true story.

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I was at the grocery store yesterday picking up some ingredients to make breakfast for the week. I already had a few essentials picked out like Milk, Eggs, & Bacon. Yes, Bacon is an essential. I moved to the cereal aisle but got stuck decidin...

The Cathedral of San Giovanni

The City-State of San Giovanni is largely forgotten today. In 1571, however, it was a wonderful place to be for both the secular and the spiritual. The was no war for three centuries, the market benefited from its close proximity to the Old Salt Route, and the artist community was vibrant and influe...

There's a little known country in central Europe that is ruled by a monarchy... (x-post /r/dadjokes)

Not many people are aware of its existence but I assure that it is there all the same. The king of this little land faces a lot of difficulty. He wants to make his kingdom into a sovereign nation but unfortunately they do not have the infrastructure, population, or economy to do so. In fact, this sm...

Always makes me groan

This is a favorite of my dad he always likes to bring it up I'm sure some of you have heard it before.
A single man in his 30's moves from the big city out into the country. He likes the area, the scenery, and mainly the solitude. He only has one neighbor in close proximity, and soon after he arr...

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