Which actor is always criticising churchgoers?

Christian Slater.

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[NSFW] A priest and an old blind woman who plays the church organ, are preparing for the weekly sermon.

Every week, the organ player eats a banana to keep her energy up before the crowds arrive, but she always seems to have terrible trouble peeling it.

The priest sees an opportunity and decides to swap the banana for his penis. The organ player grabs his tackle and starts fondling it.

...

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One Sunday after church,

Father Tom was approached by Dave, who had been a regular churchgoer for years, but had recently been missing service. Father Tom asked him if everything was okay, as he had missed several services over the last few months. Dave told Father Tom "I've been working non-stop trying to save my business....

An old woman is having her 90th birthday.

She has three sons, and each of them has been very successful in life. They realized this might be her last year, and each decided to get something special for her.

The first got thought that she must find the same old house boring after living in it for all her life and bought her a mansion....

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A preacher in the Wild West, ...

... beloved by his congregation, was famous for never preaching about the same subject twice.

One day he says to his wife, "I've got an idea for my next sermon. I think I'll talk about horseback riding and how it helped America expand west of the Mississippi." His wife says, "If you do, I'm ...

The competition of the priests

Three priests - a Catholic, a Protestant and a Jewish are competing against each other. The task is to convert a bear to their religion.

 

After a few days, the Catholic priest calls the others to his church and says: "Look! I've converted the bear to Catholicism and now he's...

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A Priest and a Deacon

A Priest realized that less and less people were showing up to church every day. He goes to the Deacon and asks "How can I get more people to come to church?"

"Well", says the Deacon, "people like food. Maybe if you offer free food at mass, more people will show up."

So the Priest set...

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A pastor is leading a church that's running out of money, so one Sunday, he comes up with an idea.

About halfway through his sermon, the pastor reaches into his pocket and pulls out his gold pocketwatch and chain. He starts to gently swing the watch back and forth, pinching the chain between his fingers so the watch swings freely. By the end of his sermon, the normally lethargic members of the ...

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A note to a priest (Long).

A young priest was about to lead his first mass. Because he was nervous, the bishop told him to put a bit of vodka in the wine and drink a bit before the mass. The priest did that.

Then his memory shuts out, and after a few hours, he wakes up with a note saying:

"My son, I have a few ...

Two vicars are talking on the street

"my bicycle was stolen from outside the church"

"have you thought about the police?

"I don't think the police would do a thing like that.. I'm joking, it was probably one of the churchgoers"

"I have an idea. In your next sermon, read out the ten commandments. when you get to, 't...

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