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Begone Jokes

"SANTA BEGONE!"

That's the last time I hire a dyslexic priest! Now my family can't celebrate Christmas and my daughter's possessed.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Ten Commandments

God sends his angel to Earth to deliver his Commandments to the people. First the angel visited the Germans: "God has sent me to deliver his commandments", says the angel. "Give us an example", say the Germans "Thou shall not covet your neighbours land" "Begone!!!", say the Germans
Next the angel...

What did the incel say, when he had a sudden bout of inspiration to change his outlook on life and start approaching attractive women, in a confident manner?

Begone,thought!

This Egyptian bird was giving me trouble...

...talking about life and death and the afterlife, threatening me and demanding sacrifices.

When I'd had enough I yelled: "Begone, Thoth!"

What did the knight say to the turnip?

Begone, foul beet!

Better Easter Joke

Three blondes die and find themselves at the Pearly Gates. Before I can let you into Heaven, says St. Peter, you need to answer one question. "What is Easter?"
The first blonde says "Easter is that time in the fall when you go door-to-door and people give you candy." "No" says St. Peter "Tha...

Wife won a lottery

Wife, cheering happily, decided to go to a trip and called: "Honey! Start packing!"

Husband: "For the hot or cold weather?"

Wife: "I don't care, just begone when I get back!"

What is the brain told when you have Alzheimer’s?

Begone, thought.

What did the monk say to the philosopher supermodel?

"Begone thought."

I've been thinking recently that unfaithful women are condemned way beyond proportion.

Begone, thought.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man met a beautiful girl and he decided he wanted to marry her right away

A man met a beautiful girl and he decided he wanted to marry her right away. She protested, “But we don’t know anything about each other.” He replied, “That’s all right; we’ll learn about each other as we go along.”

So she consented and they were married, and they went on honeymoon to avery n...

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