A man goes to join a monastery

When introduced to the abbott, he finds out it is a progressive monastery, where, while they generally keep the vow of silence, they are allowed to say two words every five years. The guy agrees to it and becomes a monk.

After 5 years the abbott asks him what he has to say. He says: "bad food...

Good Riddance to Dumb Patients

I sent a reminder to a client that it was time to visit the eye doctor. He called back to inform me that he would not be coming in because, as he put it, “I have a new obstetrician.”

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Mickey and Donald were sitting in a bar(credit to u/KamehameHanSolo)

So Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck are sitting at a bar and Mickey sighs and says to Donald, "So Minnie finally decided to leave me."

"Good riddance, you're better off without her," Donald says, "Just last week you were telling me how crazy she is."

Mickey looks at him and says, "Donald, ...

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A very quiet man married a naggy wife

He's a good provider and makes a lot of money as a farmer. Despite giving her everything she wants, she still complains and nags him everyday. Years into the marriage, he starts to feel fed up being nagged by the wife. One day he took his wife to his farm and pushed her into a 10 foot deep hole. Fro...

So a man decides to become a monk

He moves into a monastery and takes a vow of silence. After a year passes, the leader speaks to him and says:

"My son, you have not said a word for an entire year. If you have anything to say, you may now speak!"

He says: "The food sucks!"

The leader sighs and turns away. Anothe...

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