Pssst Jokes - 15 Hilarious Pssst Jokes

A man walks into a bar and it’s empty – it’s just him and the bartender.

He sits down and orders a drink.

After a few seconds, he hears someone whisper, “Pssst… I like your tie.”

The man looks around but doesn’t see anyone.

“Pssst… that color looks nice on you.”

He asks the bartender, “Excuse me, but…are you speaking to me?”

The barte...

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Little Johnny.

Johnny tells his nursery teacher he found a dead cat.

"How did you know it was dead?" asks his teacher.

"Because I pissed in it's ear & it didn't move" says Johnny.

"You did what? screams the teacher.

"You know" explains Johnny, "I leant over and went Pssst & it d...

Pssst

^^^*nothing*

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A kindergarten student told his teacher he'd found a cat...

A kindergarten student told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it was dead. "How do you know that the cat was dead?" she asked her student. "Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move," answered the child innocently. "You did WHAT?!?!?!" the teacher yelled in shock. "You know," explained the boy,...

During an exam, a student pokes the guy next to him and whispers, "pssst... is C the chemical symbol for chlorine?"

He whispers back, "Na, Cl you idiot!".

"OK thanks..." replies the student, "but why so salty?"

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Danny and the cat

Five year old Danny says, "Mommy, I think the cat is dead."

His mother says, "Why do you think that?"

Danny says, "I pissed in her ear and she didn't move."

His mother says, "You did what?"

Danny says again, "I pissed in her ear and she didn't move."

His mother say...

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A snobby young couple was walking through Central Park, discussing their massive credit card and mortgage debt.

As they worried about how to continue their rich lifestyle, a grubby homeless guy appears from behind a bush. He says, “Pssst! hey! I’ll give you a thousand bucks if you let me lick your wife’s boobs.”

The couple were appalled and hurry away. After a few seconds, the wife whispers, “You kn...

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Parrot with no legs

A man goes to the pet shop to buy a parrot and see there’s 3 parrots, two for 200$ and the last for 20 bucks. The man ask the shopkeeper why he’s a lot cheaper. The shopkeeper replied that the parrot has no leg so it hold himself on the branch using his tiny penis. The man buys him out off pity.
...

What did Ajax say to the window ?

Pssst

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The guy decides that maybe he'd like to have a pet and goes to a pet shop. After looking around, he spots a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs.

The guy says out loud, "Geez, I wonder what happened to this parrot?"

"I was born this way," says the parrot. "I'm a defective parrot."

"Ha, ha," the guy laughs. "It sounded like this parrot actually understood what I said and answered me!"

"I understood every word," says the pa...

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The kindergartener who pissed in a cats ear

This little kindergartener runs into school and yells “Miss! Miss! There’s a dead cat outside!”
And she goes “well how do you know it’s dead?”
And he goes “well I pissed in it’s ear and it didn’t move so it must be dead.”
And she goes into shock, “Oh my god! You did what? You pissed in the ...

A man walks into a bar with his dog . . .

. . . and the bartender says "You can't bring a dog in here!"

The man says "It's my seeing eye dog". The bartender apologizes profusely and gives the man his drink on the house.

A second man enters the bar with his dog and the first man calls to him: "Pssst, buddy. You can't bring a d...

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A priest is taking confessions...

in the confession booth, and he desperately needs to take a bathroom break, however the queue outside the booth of confessing sinners is building and he really doesn't want to delay any further.

Thankfully, with him is a young deacon in training, so the priest whispers to him,
"listen, I ...

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3 guys are driving across the country

Their car breaks down just down the road from a farm. The guys decide to walk over to the farm to see if there is anyone who can help. A nice middle aged man greets them at the porch, offers them a tow with the tractor and takes a look at the car.

" Now I reckon it will be a while before thi...

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A man's best friend

A man decides to get a mascot and heads to the pet store. He began to walk up and down the aisles looking at the different animals available but found fault with each. Dogs needed to be walked constantly. Cats are loners. Ferrets smell. Fish are boring. Snakes are, well, snakes. After roaming around...

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