Good bye Netflix and Chill

It’s now Disney Plus You and Me

How do you say good bye to two hundred thousand Indonesians?

A big wave.

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How does a pornstar say good bye to a client?

Nice business doing pleasure with you.

My girlfriend left a note on the fridge saying, “This isn’t working. I am leaving, good bye.”

I opened up the fridge and it seems to be working just fine...and she says I’m the stupid one?

Good Night, Good Bye

A father put his three year old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers - which she ended by saying "God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy, God bless Grandma, and good-bye Grandpa."

The father said, "Why did you say good-bye to Grandpa?"

The little girl said, "I don'...

A young man was walking through a supermarket to pick up a few things when he noticed an old lady following him around.

Thinking nothing of it, he ignored her and continued on. Finally he went to the checkout line, but she got in front of him. "Pardon me," she said, "I'm sorry if my staring at you has made you feel uncomfortable. It's just that you look just like my son, who just died recently." "I'm very sorry," rep...

This is a long joke but the build up is worth it

Somewhere far away from here, there was a horse, a cow and a chicken. The horse had always wanted to start a band, so he learnt to play the guitar, while he was learning, he started looking for others who would be interested in joining his band, and found a chicken who was really good at singing and...

The dancing aliens (LONG)

On the first contact mission to Mars two astronauts where sent up to make contact with the other worldly beings. After 300 long days in the space ship the astronauts finally landed on Mars what they saw deeply surprised them they saw 2 beautiful humanoid figures welcoming them with open arms. The as...

What's the difference between astronauts and people with suicidal tendencies?

Their interpretations of the phrase, "good bye world".

GOODBYE MOM

This brought a tear to my eye! Hope this touches you the way it touched me!


A young man shopping in a supermarket noticed a little old lady following him around. If he stopped, she stopped. Furthermore, she kept staring at him.

She finally overtook him at the checkout, and s...

So, there's a man crawling through the desert.

He'd decided to try his SUV in a little bit of cross-country travel, had great fun zooming over the badlands and through the sand, got lost, hit a big rock, and then he couldn't get it started again. There were no cell phone towers anywhere near, so his cell phone was useless. He had no family, his ...

A wife is like a hand grenade...

Take off the ring and say good bye to your house.

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$7 SEX!!!

A Florida couple, both well into their 80's, go to a sex therapist's office.
The doctor asks, 'What can I do for you?'
The man says, 'Will you watch us have sexual intercourse? '
The doctor raises both eyebrows, but he is so amazed that such an elderly couple is asking for sexual advice tha...

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An honest mistake.

A man is showering up in a locker room with his buddy when he notices his friend is very well endowed.

"Damn Bob, you're hung!" Jim exclaims.

"I wasn't always this impressive, I had to work for it."

"What do you mean?" Jim asked.

"Well, every day for the past two years I'...

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A boy sits in class watching the clock when the teacher stands up in front of the class

And tells the class since there isn't much time before the end of class and it was Friday she will play a game with them. She explains the rules.

Teacher: Guess which president said the quote and you can leave early.

The boy is excited this is his favorite subject and he knows he is go...

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Pillsbury Doughboy

So, the Pillsbury Doughboy was walking down the street one day minding his own business when Woody from Toystory happens upon him. The two recognize each other and say hello, and have a little chat. As the pair were saying their good byes, Woody asks "Can I poke your belly." Doughboy says "I would r...

Cold water

A man went to stay with his best friend for a weekend. The first night his friend cooked him hamburgers and as the man was eating them he noticed some stains on the plate.
"Hey, I don't want to be rude or anything, but is this plate clean?"
"Clean as cold water will get it." His friend sai...

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Luke 14:10

A priest and a nun are driving in a car towards a monastery, priest behind the wheel.

Approaching the red light, priest places gently his hand on the nuns knee to which the nun looks at him and says:
-- Father, remember "Luke 14:10"
Priest apologies, removes his hand and keeps on drivi...

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Most medicines have side effects...

...except Viagra has front effects.
Good bye.

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