Basketball Game Jokes - 16 Hilarious Basketball Game Jokes

God and Satan arranged a basketball game between Heaven and Hell.

"I know for a fact we are gonna win," said God. "We have all the best players up here...Wilt Chamberlain, Moses Malone, Kobe Bryant, and so on."

"I wouldn't count on that, God," said Satan. "You see, down here, *we* have all the referees."

Why are sodas mad after a basketball game?

Sierra missed

Why did the rooster go to the basketball game?

He heard that they blow fouls there.

Why did Jesus lose the basketball game?

Because Peter denied him three times.

How did the guy with no hair do during his basketball game?

Oh, he bald.

How did Link win the basketball game?

With his hookshot... (Sorry)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So like, this guy was drinking beer and watching a basketball game on TV

while his wife was outside mowing the grass. He went out and asked "What are you going to make for dinner?" She said "How dare you ask me that! I'm doing all the work while you're sitting around. Pretend I'm out of town and make your own dinner!" So the guy cooked a T-bone steak and while he was eat...

I went to a Syracuse University basketball game. The president showed up.

The secret service got confused and started guarding the mascot.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Satan challenges God to a basketball game, so God puts together a choice team from heaven and goes down to hell.

When they come back to heaven, it's with shocking news: they lost the game 52 to 140!

The Virgin Mary is stunned, "How could you possibly lose the game with a team like yours?! Didn't you have the best saints, the most generous souls, the philanthropists and Jesus himself??"

"Yes," fum...

A guy is in the front row of a basketball game.....

He is enjoying the game when suddenly someone yells, ''Steve!'' He looks over his shoulder, looks around but cannot see anyone in the mass of 15,000 fans. He continues to enjoy the game. He again hears ''SteveO,'' Now he gets up and looks around but eventually sits back down. He is taking a drink...

If you rush a circumcision to be able to watch the start of a basketball game

You are quickly taking the tip off not to miss the tip off

Why did Columbine High School lose all their basketball games?

They lost their 2 best shooters

Why were the absurdly dressed chickens escorted from the basketball game?

Because two flagrant fouls is an automatic ejection.

The wife phoned me and said, "You better come to the hospital. My mother hasn't got long to live!"

I replied, "But it's March Madness! All the basketball games are important!"

She said, "Record it and watch it later."

You should have seen her face when I turned up at the hospital with the camcorder and the tripod…

Who's winning

Went to visit my Granddad. He was watching a basketball game.
"What's the score Gramps?"
"92 to 86."
"Who's winning?" I asked.
"92"

Grandpa's joke last night.

Two heavy set women are talking by the bar.
The bartender says "You ladies have a lovely accent. Are you from Scotland?" One of them women goes "No, Wales."
The bartender replied "Are you whales from Scotland?"

Then grandpa precedes to explain the joke about them being whales. We were...

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