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Baloney Jokes

Went to my local sandwich shop and asked for “a sub filled to the brim with cheese and baloney”

They just linked me to r/jokes

Here is why you should never trust a sandwich

They are full of baloney

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three construction workers are sitting on a scaffolding eating lunch.

An electrician, a bricklayer, and a welder are sitting on a high rise scaffolding on their lunch break. They all open their lunches to find baloney sandwiches. The electrician sighs and says

"I hate baloney, my wife knows I hate baloney, yet every day I end up with this sandwich. If I get on...

I need a recommendation for a good breakfast wine.

Something that would compliment baloney pancakes - or a nice Cheetos frittata.

(Bonus points if I can make it myself in the bathtub.)

Why didn't the potato chips believe anything the sandwich said?

Because the sandwich was full of baloney

Back in the day I could go to the store with $5 and come home with a gallon of milk, a lb of baloney, 3 packs of cigarettes and a 12 pack. Can't do that anymore.

There are to many security cameras these days.

A doctor unnecessarily cut off a man’s leg

It was a baloney amputation

(my own original joke!)

Someone told me Chorizo is the best kind of sausage...

... but that's baloney!

Fish story

A redneck with a bucket full of live fish, was approached recently by a game warden in Texas as he started to drive his boat away from a lake. The game warden asked the man, "May I see your fishing license please?" "Naw, sir," replied the redneck. "I don't need none of them there papers. These here ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Pilot

A jumbo jet is making its final approach to Tampa Airport. The pilot comes on the intercom, "This is your Captain. We're on our final descent into Tampa . I want to thank you for flying with us today
and hope you enjoy your stay in the Tampa Bay area".

He forgets to switch off the inte...

Slogan

A High School teacher was lecturing her class on why companies advertise and what they do to make people remember them. "That's why companies have slogans," he explained. "For example, who can tell me which company says, 'I'm loving it!'" To which the students reply, "McDonald's!" All the students k...

I courted the young Miss Mahoney

I courted the young Miss Mahoney

I was hoping she'd mount my baloney

But when I checked her crack

I was taken aback

She was riding the red cotton pony


Hope you all don't mind a limerick. The limerick subreddit is pretty dead.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

3 young boys are eating lunch on a bridge

The first one, who is French, says "If I find another baloney sandwich in my lunch tomorrow, I'm jumping off of this bridge!"

The second one, who is Irish, says "If I find another turkey sandwich in my lunch tomorrow, I'm jumping off of this bridge!"

The third one, who is Scottish, say...

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