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Back In The Day Jokes

Back in the day Oklahoma use to have a slogan “Oklahoma is OK!”, you know why it was just OK?

Because they couldn’t spell mediocre.

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Back in the day, Chicago was run by the Irish mob

Now, before the Italian mob took over- I'm sure you all know Al Capone, Frank Nitti, Lucky Luciano, and the like- Prohibition era Chicago was run by the Irish mob.

The Irish gangs owned Chicago outright for a solid 18 months after Prohibition went into effect, before police raids, pressure fr...

Remember back in the day, when your TV wouldn't work, you'd bang it a few times?

I tried that with my dishwasher, but unfortunately, she ended up pregnant...

Back in the day I used to weightlift like crazy.

I'm a history buff

Back in the day…..

The poor had horses and the rich had cars


Nowadays the poor have cars and the rich have horses

How the stables have turned

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"Back in the day," my grandfather started to say,

"you could walk into a grocery store with 2 dollars in your pocket, and walk out with a loaf of bread, a dozen eggs, and a bit of butter as well."

"But today," he continued, "wherever you go - there are cameras."

Back in the day, autoeroticism was frowned upon…

But I’m dating myself

Back in the day, excessive use of commas was considered a very serious crime.

It usually resulted in a long sentence.

Back in the day, we didn’t have Google….

….but we had a drunk uncle.

Things were much better for me back in the day

Especially when I wasn't born yet --those days I could kick a pregnant lady all day long and everyone would be happy that I'm doing something

Back in the days... (long)

Back in the days, on a beautiful spring day, a farmer had led his cow to a small stream next to a green, lush meadow. The animal happily guzzles some water, while the farmer milks her. Two engineers come hiking down the path that follows the stream.

"Excuse me, sir", says one, "what are you d...

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Back in the day last name said something about your profession...

The Smiths would hammer away creating armor and weapons as blacksmiths. The Fishers would navigate the seas in search as fishermen. And The Dickinsons, well no one really knew what they did.

I've experimented with a lot of drugs back in the day,

But with cocaine, that's where I drew a line.

Back in the day,

Instagram just meant a really efficient drug dealer.

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Back in the days of the Milkman...

A milkman comes to the back door of a new customer, knocks, and an attractive older lady opens the door, wearing only a thin negligee’.

“Good morning, ma’am.”, he says. “My name is Ed...What would you like today?

“What I’d like, Ed, is for you to go get a lot of milk from your truck, a...

Back in the day...

...when I still went to school, I had only one true friend. His name was Eddy and although we had different interests, we got along really well. Since I was good in science classes I often times helped him with his homework because for some reason he was only interested in history classes. Actually ...

Back in the day we were so poor at Christmas...

That my parents bought me a pair of trousers and cut the pockets out just so I would have something to play with.

I made a mathematical joke back in the day

They gave it a bad oπnion

Back in the day...

Back in the day, everyone had a horse and only rich people owned cars. Now everyone owns a car and only the rich own horses. I guess you could say, the stables have turned

The Royal Navy had the greatest public image, back in the day...

And why wouldn't they? After all, they impressed every sailor they ever met, and kept 'em in shipshape.

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Back in the day, a Minnesotian farmer visits the doctor...

He says: "Doc, I've got this problem and it's a little bit embarrasing and annoying."
"Oh", the doctor says. "Tell me what your issue is."

"Well", says the famer. " You see, I work in the fields and in the woods all day and when I get home in the evenings and can relax, I am just too tir...

Back in the days of the USSR, two men stood in a block-long line for cucumbers...

Suddenly one of them snaps, and yells "This is an outrage! Waiting for hours for a couple of lousy cucumbers! I'm going to the Kremlin to assassinate the fools responsible for this!" and stomps off. A couple hours later, he's back.
One of the other people in line asks "Did you kill the guy...

Back in the days we had to cough to hide our farts....

These days we have to fart to hide our coughs.....

Back in the day...

...cars were made in Flint and you couldn't drink the water in Mexico...

Back in the days a dollar could get me...

A pack of gum, some candy, 2 sodas, 4 pack of chips. Today..well the got cameras everywhere.

Is it true that the French Government banned the Xbox 360 and PS3 back in the day?

Wii

Back in the day my uncle was a damn good hypnotist

On an unrelated note I feel compelled to tell you he never touched me

Back in the day.

So Chris was a leper. He was a rich man but never paid his taxes, so the king wanted to take his gold away. When the king arrived Chris tried to trick him. Chris told him to take his bow out into the rain and watch chris make a bullseye from 100m away. The king complied. When he was finished Chris ...

Back in the day, you'd have to take a girl's panties off to see the booty...

Nowadays, you have to lift the booty to see her panties.

Back in the day, I took my 8-year old girl to the office with me on your kid to Work Day

As we were walking around the office, she starting crying and getting very cranky, so I asked what was wrong with her. As my coworkers gathered round, she sobbed loudly...



"Daddy, where are all the clowns that you said that you worked with?!"

I used to play the triangle in a reggae band back in the day.....

But it was one ting after the other

I went to a middle school dance back in the day.

It was kinda lame, looking back on it. The music was bad, they ran out of food, and there wasn’t even a punch line.

Back in the days, I'd only take just $1 with me to the supermarket and came back with 3 bottles of soda and 2 bags of crisps

But these days, there are surveillance cameras everywhere

Back in the days, I used to go to the store with 1 dollar and come back with 2 chocolate bars

But nowadays they have cameras

It's amazing that Peter Gabriel and Phil Collins both went solo back in the day

There was a real Exodus from Genesis

What did our parents do when they were bored back in the days before the internet or video games?

I asked this question to my 24 brothers and sisters too...

My uncle spoke of his time in Soviet Russia back in the day

He said there were only 2 channels on TV. He said Channel 1 was propaganda, and channel 2 was a KGB pointing a Kalashnikov at the screen saying "Turn back to channel 1!"

Back in the day, I used to be a trampoline tester...

It had its ups and downs.

I remember back in the day I use to go to the store with $2 and come back with 2 bags of chips, 3 candy bars, a pack of starbursts, and a soda...

But nowadays they have cameras everywhere

So I heard that back in the day Hammurabi was actually Jewish...

yea, they actually called him Hammurabbi. ^badum ^tsssssss ^^^please ^^^^don't ^^^^^hurt ^^^^^^me

I want to tell you all what a great time I had partying with Bill Cosby back in the day..

But all of a sudden I can't seem to remember what happened

I remember back in the day, kids would call me cool when I rode my bike with no hands.

But as an adult with a drivers license all they say is, "CHAD WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU'RE GONNA HIT THAT PEDESTRIAN!"

This joke was like "The Aristocrats" back in the day - question was how much you could elaborate it ...

Guy on a business trip gets to chatting with an attractive woman at the hotel bar and both of them being a little drunk, they wind up together in his bedroom.

So he's lying in bed watching her get ready, and first thing he sees is her take off her false eyelashes.

Then her false finger...

Back in the day, I 'member me and my mom going to the store with two dollars in her purse and coming back with a big bag of spuds, two loaves of bread, a pound of cheese, three gallons of milk, half a dozen eggs and coffee…

You can't do that anymore…too many security cameras…

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