The phone rings at the local police station. “Hello? I’m calling to report my neighbor, Craig. He is hiding marijuana inside his firewood!”
“Thank you very much for the call, sir.”
The next day, policemen descend on the neighbor’s house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept.
Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana. They swear at the neighbors and leave.
The phone rings at ...
Wrote my second joke ever, would like some feedback
Three lumberjacks; Sam, Dave, and Ben; are felling trees when a bear approaches them. Sam says "stay back or we'll kill you with our axes!" The bear responds, "woah! I'm a proud vegetarian. I just wanted to offer you all a nicely cooked dinner since you've all been working so hard and are probably h...
How to impress women
A guy walks into a bar carrying a couple of axes and orders a beer. "What've ya got there?" the bartender asks. "Oh, these are some of my new axes I bought online," the guy says. "I order them in from countries overseas. I just love how they smell." "Well, that's all fine and good, I guess. But why ...
One day, while a woodcutter was cutting a branch of a tree above a river, his axe fell into the river.
When he cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "Why are you crying?"
The woodcutter replied that his axe has fallen into water, and he needed the axe to make his living.
The Lord went down into the water and reappeared with a golden axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked.
The ...
Ten years into the war, both sides ran out of bullets for their guns.
They decided to use bows and arrows instead.
But ten years later, still strong in the war, both sides ran out of arrows and flint. So both sides used swords and axes.
But a decade after that, both sides ran out of metal, and they had to resort to weapons made of wood, like bo- staffs ...
Why was Gimli so interested in plotting equations on an x-y coordinate plane?
He heard it involved axes.
Why was the spreadsheet afraid of its chart?
Because it has multiple axes.
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
Appolcolypse
A zombie apocalypse had enveloped the earth. 99.9% of the world’s population had been annihilated and Carl, lone survivor, was venturing the land looking for somewhere to take shelter.
One day, he came across a prison. The place was full of people armed with swords, spears, axes and all kin...
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
