OFFICER: the victims were dismembered and sacrificed on the altar made of antlers

DETECTIVE: dear god!

OFFICER: most likely, yes

What has 16 legs, 4 antlers, 4 tails, and, if seen in action, will forever inhibit your ability to sleep?

A polygamoose.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

This Scottish bloke goes on a skiing holiday to Canada. After a hard day on the slopes, he retires to a bar at the bottom of the mountain. After about five or six whiskeys, he looks up and notices a stuffed animal with antlers on the wall...

He asks the bartender, "What the fuck is that?"

The bartender replies, "It's a moose."

The Scottish chap shouts back, "Fuck me! How big are the cats?"

If you see a deer with out antlers acting crazy dont try to eat it without cooking it first.

Everyone knows you cant eat raw kooky doe.

What do you call a buck that shed its antlers?

Transgendeer

Anybody know how much Deer antlers cost?

I was told they're always 2 for a Buck.

What do you call a cow with antlers?

A Moose.

(Credit to my 5 year old son. He makes dad so proud!)

Three men go hunting. One is kind of tipsy, one is just plain drunk, the third one however is so smashed, he can barely hold himself upright.

They lay on the lookout and wait. At some point later they make out a big deer with beautiful antlers.

The one who is the least drunk levels his gun, takes a shot, but misses. The second most drunk guy does the same, but he misses too. The deer is now running towards them. The third guy, who...

I had to go to the doctors because I grew antlers after eating Mexican food...

He told me it was a bad quesadilla.

An animal with big antlers jumped into my car and drove it off...

I mistook it for a reindeer, then realized it was just a commandeer.

Some Mexicans were hunting moose in Canada for the first time and their first day out they shot a giant beautiful one with huge antlers.

They each grabbed a side of the antlers and started dragging it back to their truck snagging and catching small trees and bushes and making little progress. A Canadian saw them doing this and told them it would be easier if they dragged the moose by it's feet.

They took his advice and the an...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If you add antlers to Chinese soup

It makes miso horny

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Frank and John go hunting, as per usual on their sunday afternoon

John is blind, so Frank is always there to help him aim his rifle. As they're walking on the woods, Frank spots a deer:

F - (whispering) Oh, I spot a deer!

J - Nice, tell me where to aim.

F - You're basically facing him. Raise your rifle, perfect, now aim a little bit to your ri...

A man feels burnt out by his busy city life, and decides to vacation as far away as possible from the hustle and bustle.

He finds himself in a cozy cabin just outside of a small, remote Alaskan town. For a few days he marvels at the serenity of the forest. He fishes, he hikes, he naps blissfully while listening to the trees sway. But by the middle of the week, he begins to get bored, and goes to town.

Checking...

Two Aggies bag a deer

Two Aggies had bagged a deer and were dragging it by the rear legs back to the truck. But the antlers kept getting stuck in the mud. One says to the other, "This is tough but we only got about 1 mile left to reach the truck."

A third hunter saw their dilemma and told them, "If you drag the de...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Scotsman went skiing in Canada for the first time.

At the end of a great day on the slopes, he retired to the local tavern. After getting six whiskeys in him he stood up and turned around to discover a large, stuffed animal head with giant antlers hanging from the wall.

"Barkeep," he said, "what the hell is that?"

The bartender said, "...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An old man is sitting with his grandson in his hunting cabin...

Among the walls are the mounted heads and pelts of animals he had taken down over the years.

The boy points to a sizable pair of antlers, and says "Wow Grandpa, those are *big* antlers!"

"They sure are. That deer was a majestic creature," the old man responds.

The boy then poin...

Two blondes went out deer hunting...

...and they managed to shoot a deer. They started dragging the deer by the hind legs to get it back to their pick up truck.

An experienced hunter saw them and said, "No, girls, you're doing it wrong. You're dragging against the grain of the deer's hair. If you drag by the antlers, you'll...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Englishman ,a Scotsman and an Irishman are all going to give speeches to the Deaf Society and are keen to make an impression on their audience…

The Englishman goes first and to the surprise of his colleagues starts by rubbing first his chest and then his groin.

When he finishes, the Scotsman and Irishman ask him what he was doing.

"Well…" he explained, "By rubbing my chest, I indicated breasts and thus Ladies and by rubbing m...

A man walks into a bar and sees a 1 foot tall guy playing the piano.

Astonished the man asks the bartender,
“where in gods name did you find such a small man playing the piano?!”

“There is a genie out back granting wishes but..”

Before the bartender could finish his sentence the patron was out the door to search for the genie.

Sure enough t...

Bubba and Clyde are out hunting one day...

... when they finally lay eyes on the perfect buck. Bubba takes one shot and it goes down. They're struggling to get it back to their pickup, dragging it by its hind legs, when they come across another hunter.

The hunter says, "You know boys, if you drag it by its antlers, it'll be easier, s...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Classic Rocky and Bullwinkle pun

On a December trip to Frostbite Falls, Minnesota, Ferdinand Feghoot was summoned to the local college, Wossamotta U. by Inspector Fenwick, the Chief of Police.

There he was confronted with an appalling scene. Bullwinkle, the town's leading citizen, had been smashed flatter than a kippered her...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My little boy was drawing pictures.

I thought I'd give him a hand, so I drew a picture of a deer. 'What's that, Son?' 'Don't know, Dad.' I drew antlers on it to make it easier. 'What's that, Son?' 'Don't know, Dad.' 'You see them out in the forest'. 'Don't know, Dad.' 'Rhymes with 'beer'. You know, beer like your Dad drinks.'...

Two men are out hunting deer

...when they finally kill one. After they have begun dragging it by the antlers to their truck, one says to the other, "You know, I heard that it's a lot easier to drag a deer by the tail end than by the antlers." "Let's try it," says the other.

After a while, the first guy says, "Wow, this ...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.