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Ancient Egyptians Jokes

What was the most common reason ancient Egyptians would cry?

They missed their mummies.

What did the Ancient Egyptians call the pharaoh who farted oddly?

Toot Uncommon

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did the ancient Egyptians wipe their butts with?

Poopyrus.

Why did the ancient egyptians all love Nissan?

Because Nissan Sentra.


My wife says I'm going to Duat for this one....

Understanding the wealth of ancient Egyptians means...

...realizing that not only did they stuff the tombs with gold, but also wrapped the corpses in toilet paper.

The ancient Egyptians almost never passed gas

Until the king made tootin' common.

Why did the Ancient Egyptians build Great Pyramids?

Because their Great Igloos melted.

I was excited to work for the ancient Egyptians

Until I realized it was a pyramid scheme

What did the Ancient Egyptians call a good lookin mummy?

a MILF

Why did the Ancient Egyptians always make it to school on time?

Because they had Anubis

I didn't realize the ancient Egyptians were so concerned with information security.

Everybody who was important got encrypted.

Ancient Egyptians who worked to preserve the Pharaoh for the afterlife are known for having being very good businessmen. In fact, they even invented what we know today as the "return policy."

It was know back then as the "mummy back guarantee..."

How did the Ancient Egyptians secure their Boats?

With an Ankhor

How many Ancient Egyptians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Oh! You're a conspiracy theorist too?

Did you know that ancient Egyptians were related by their farts?

It's true. They had a toot in common.

The pyramids took so long to build because creepers kept on destroying them...

That's why the ancient Egyptians worshipped cats to scare the creepers away.

An Italian, an Egyptian and a Greek...

...were fighting over whose ancestors had the most advanced civilization.

The Romans were the most advanced said the Italian. And I'm going to prove it to you. Here's a photograph
from a recent excavation site under the Colloseum. What do you see?

The Egyptian and the Greek after st...

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