Abdul and his friend Mohammed are trying to migrate to australia as skilled workers.

They go to the Australian embassy in Lahore and start filling out the application.

Mohammed goes into an interview room with an embassy officer and they start discussing his work
Experience and whether he qualifies as skilled labor. ‘So what do you do, Mohammed?’ says the embassy worker. ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Abdul went to a doctor

Abdul: Doctor I have severe pain in my ass.

Doctor: Where exactly is the pain?

Abdul: Just at the ass entrance.

Doctor: My dear Abdul, it's a exit. As long as you will keep considering it entrance, pain will be there.

Abdul the Afghani

Abdul the Afghani is walking through the mountains with his wife in front of him. He meets his imam going in the opposite direction.

"Abdul, have you read the Koran? It says the wife should always walk behind her husband," the imam says.

"When the Koran was written, there were no mine...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Guy giving a lecture, on the paranormal.

Guy: "How many people believe in Ghosts?"

About 60 hands go up.

"How many have seen a ghost.?"

About 15 hands go up.

"How many have of you have spoken to a ghost.?"

3 hands go up.

"How many have had sex with a ghost?"

One hand goes up, Abdul right at ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Once Abdul's wife had a severe stomach ache..

He tried Google, asked his friends and relatives, but no respite from the pain for his wife. Finally, someone suggested to him a reputed Gastroenterologist, and he called him.

Abdul: "Doctor! Please help my wife. She has a severe stomach ache, and I tried everywhere, and nothing is helping. W...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A jihadist was preparing himself for his mission, when suddenly he's facing the image of his dearly departed comrad

"Ahmad! How is paradise?"

"Abdul, don't go through with the mission, it is not the paradise we were promised!"

"How is that possible? How could that be? Did you get the 72 virgins?"

"Yes, and that's the problem, Abdul... think about what kind of women dies a virgin."

Abdul was a school going boy

In math class, the teacher asks him "Abdul, what is 5 times 2?"

Abdul says "10"

"Very good, now tell me what is 4 times 3?"

Abdul says "9"

The teacher says "No, the answer is 12"

"8..."

Abdul was aboard his first flight

Abdul to air hostess: hey can you tell me my seat number

AH: it is number 4 in aisle C

Abdul: wow what a coincidence lol

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Dave asked Abdul how many sexual partners he'd had.

Abdul started counting and fell asleep.

I was walking down the road today and saw my Afghani neighbor, Abdul, standing on his fifth floor apartment balcony shaking a carpet.

I shouted up to him, “What’s up Abdul, won’t it start?”

A first grade class walks in from recess...

The teacher asks Sarah: What did you do doing recess?

Sarah replied: I played in the sandbox.

The teacher says: “That’s good. Go to the blackboard and if you can write ‘sand’ correctly I’ll give you a fresh-baked cookie.

She does and gets a cookie. The teacher asks Morris what h...

While visiting India , Donald Trump is invited to tea with Abdul Kalam.

While visiting India , Donald Trump is invited
to tea with Abdul Kalam. He asks Kalam what his leadership philosophy is. He says that, it is to surround himself with intelligent people.
Trump asks how he knows if they're intelligent.
"I do so by asking them the right questions," says ...

Abdul, the Indian wife beater, hits his wife every night at 7 PM

On the dot.

What do you get when you cryogenically freeze a genetic copy of basketball legend Kareem Abdul Jabbar?

An ice Kareem clone

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An old sex joke: A conversation between a doc and a patient

"Name?"
"Abdul Aziz."
"Sex?"
"Three to five times a day."
"No, no... I mean male or female?"
"Yes, male, female, sometimes camel."
"Holy cow!"
"Yes, cow, sheep, animals in general."
"But isn't that hostile?"
"Horse style, doggy style, any style!"
"Oh...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Syrian kid in France.

A Syrian kid and his refugee family move to France. On his first day of school his teacher asks him "what is your name?". To which he politely responds, "My name is Abdul and I am from Syria (Middle-East accent)..She abruptly stops him and corrects him.
"No! From now on you are French and your n...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three muslim women...

Three muslim women are sitting together talking. One pulls out a picture of her son to show the others. 'This is a picture of my son Abdul. He would have been 18 today'. Another pulls out a picture of her son. 'This is a picture of Mohammed. He would have been 20 today'. The third one says with a te...

DJ Khaled

DJ Khaled's full name is Khaled Ibn Abdul Khaled, so basically his name is Khaled Khaled.

When his mum named him, he was like another one.

What do you get when you cross a talented basketball player, and an untrustworthy royal vizier?

Kareem Abdul-Jafar; although these days I hear he's a magical genie who dabbles in writing Sherlock Holmes novels.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Who's the most 'merican...

Shortly after 9/11, Achmed and Abdul were terrified with what Muslim men had done to their adopted country.


The shaved their beards, changed into western clothes, and made a pact to meet in a years time, and see who had the most "american life".


So a year goes by, and the two ...

This is traditional food in my country!

"But Abdul, this plate is empty."

"__I know!__"

Pakistani Maths Problems are like really really complex

Abdul has 3 lunch boxes.

He gives one to Rafiq and another to Hassan.

Calculate the radius of the explosion.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two ISIS fighters making a letter bomb

Abdul and Saddam sitting making letter bombs, Abdul says, "Saddam, do you think I've put enough explosive in this envelope?" "I don't know" says Saddam "open it and see". "But it'll explode" says Abdul. "Don't be so fucking' stupid" says Saddam "it's not addressed to you!"

Three ISIS mothers having tea.....

The first says: "My son Ahmed used to play here with the neighbor dog...

The next says: "My boy Abdul did too...I miss him.

The third says. "These kids just blow up way too fast"

Registration on the first day back at school in Birmingham, ENGLAND.

*Registration on the first day back at school in Birmingham, ENGLAND.
The teacher began calling out the names of the pupils:*

"Mustafa Al Eih Zeri?" "Here"

"Achmed El Kabul?" "Here"

"Fatima Al Hayek? " "Here"

"Ali Abdul Olmi?" "Here"

"Mohammed Bin Kadir?" "Here"...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.