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3m Jokes

Four men and their wives are having babies…

Four men are in the hospital waiting room because their wives are having babies

A nurse goes up to the first guy and says, “Congratulations! You're the father of twins.”

“That's odd,” answers the man

“I work for the Minnesota Twins!”

A nurse says to the second guy, “Congr...

I have an ability that I can leave buildings 3m before the fire alarm goes off

But for some reason people call me pyromaniac

Detectives finally arrest two men suspected of robbing a 3M plant.

But they couldn’t find any evidence that would stick

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

New company mergers

(I marked it NSFW because of the last one - not sure if it's considered NSFW, so just to be safe...)

For all of you with any money, be aware of these expected mergers so that you can get in on the ground floor and make some BIG bucks. Watch for these consolidations:

1. Hale Business S...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Four men are waiting for their wives in a marital ward.

edit: maternity ward, sorry my vocab is crap

They're all very anxious about becoming a father. After waiting some time, the doctor appears and congratulates the first man.

"Congratulations, your wife had twins!"

The man was relieved, but was a bit surprised. "What a coincidence...

I think it's a bit harsh to criticise Trump for trying to ban the export of masks

He's just following medical advice and trying to keep 3M away from everyone else

Jeff asks his mom if he can go swimming

J: Mooooom can i go swimming, they are opening the 3m jumping tower today.

M: ok

* Jeff comes home with a broken arm *

The next day Jeff asks:
Mooooom can I go swimming, they are opening the 5m jumping tower today.

M: ok, but be careful

* Jeff comes home with...

Three men were waiting outside the labor ward...

A nurse came out to tell the first man: "Congratulations. You are the father of twins." "Twins!"he exclaimed "How about that? I work for the Doublemint Chewing Gum Co!"

Five minutes later, a nurse came out to tell the second man: "Congratulations. You are the father of triplets." "Triplets!" ...

A government agent is responsible for finding an architect to build a tower

So he brings 3 architects, a Chinese, an American and an Iranian. The Chinese architect says I charge 3 Millions, 1.5M for material, 1M for workers and 0.5M as my salary.

He goes to the next one. The American architect says I charge 6 Millions, 3M for material, 2M for workers and 1M as my sal...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three men encounter a fairy

The fairy says: "You will jump from a 3m Tower into a pool. Whatever you say first, the pool will be filled with it and you will land in it."

The first man goes ahead, jumps and screams "Vodka" The pool is instantly filled to the brim with Vodka and he lands in it.

The second man jumps...

Three guys are in a hospital waiting room

Each of them has a wife in labor and is anxiously awaiting the arrival of their bundle of joy. The nurse comes out and says to the first man, "Congratulations...your wife has given birth to twins!" The man says, "Wow, that is such a blessing. Twins! Imagine that! You know what's funny, though? ...

Four expectant fathers pace back and forth in a hospital waiting room while their wives are in labor.

The nurse enters and tells the first man, “Congratulations, you’re the father of twins!”



“What a coincidence,” the man says. “I work for the Minnesota Twins baseball team.”



A little later, the nurse returns and tells the second man, “You are the father of triplets!”
...

Trump wants to repaint White House, he asks for quotations:

Trump wants to repaint White House, he asks for quotations:

Mexican quoted $3M
American quoted $7M
Filipino quoted $10M

Trump asked the Mexican: How did you quoted 3M?
He replied: 1M for paint, 1M for labor & 1M profit.

Trump asked the American.
He replied: 3M fo...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A classic French/Belgian joke

(Translated from French. I always found the nationalism amusing that the French and Belgians use each other as the butt of jokes - sorry for any Belgians here that are offended, I'll raise a Belgian beer in your name later on!)

Two Belgians were in a delivery truck driving through France. Th...

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