UPJOKE
cold warnatosoviet unionfirst strikedenmarkbelgiumworld war iinuclear weaponunited stateswarsaw pactworld war iwar on terrornorwaywestern europenetherlands

Ww3 Jokes

How to prevent WW3

Just give valve the rights to 1 and 2.

I escaped the WW3 draft

I guess you can say Iran

Gabe Newell should be president

That way we'd never have WW3.

WW3 breaks out and Russia invades America

Russian soldiers take the country side while Russian bombers obliterate American cities.
One day a Russian bomber squad is flying to the one city they've yet to bomb which is Detroit.
The pilot sees the city and says
"We've already bombed this city"
"No we haven't" the commander replies...

Went to WW3 with the squad

And we got shot. I thought this was supposed to be a fake Wrestling competition.

WW3 due to Ukraine

The scariest thing about this World War Three starting is that we are on the Germans' side.

They've never won a World War yet.

When my kid asks how i survived WW3 id tell him this...

Iran

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What is it called when Australia join in during ww3?

A firefight

(All jokes aside go donate to help Australia what's going on is fucking terrible)

They say WW2 was won by American steel, British intelligence, and Russian blood

Who knew that WW3 would be won the same way?

What did I do when I got drafted to the US army for the WW3

Iran.

WW3 breaks out and Russia tries to take Turkey from the rear

Does Greece help them get in?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walks into a bar and sees Hitler and Stalin.

A man walks into a bar and sees Hitler and Stalin at a table. He asks them what they were doing and was told that they were planning WW3.
Hitler says, "We are going to kill 15 million jews, and a bicycle repairman."
The man, confused asks, "Why the bicycle repairman?"
Hitler turns to Stalin...

Trump and Putin decide theyre going to decide WW3 with a Dog Fight

So they agree on coming back in a couple of years after training a dog for the occasion and rather than wasting millions of human lives and countless dollars they agree that the winner of the dog fight is the offical winner of WW3.

Some time passes and they meet up again. Putin shows up with...

What did the U.S president say before starting WW3?

Nukes... You're fired!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

H*tler and Mussolini are sitting at a bar.

A guy walks into the bar and asks the barkeeper "Aren't those two H*tler and Mussolini?" Barkeeper confirms. The guy sits next to them and asks:

-What are you guys doing?

H*tler answers:

-We're planning WW3

-Oh really? What will happen?

-We will kill 15m Jews and ...

Year 2020: A happening year

1. The WW3 is avoided
2. Australia finally stops burning.
3. 55K+ people died worldwide due to Coronavirus with superclean a\*\*holes.

Poseidon, Zeus, and Hades sit down for a drink.

They know that, because of those pesky humans, it will be their last meeting in a long time. Zeus is attempting to combat climate change, Poseidon is dealing with rampant pollution and rising sea levels, and Hades needs to update his infrastructure to deal with the massive influx of souls after WW3....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walks into a seedy dive bar in Washington DC.

After letting his eyes adjust to the dimness of the bar, he notices President Trump and Speaker of the House Paul Ryan talking quietly at a corner table.

He orders a beer then walks up to the two and says, "Mr. President, Mr. Ryan, I am a huge fan of yours! What are you guys doing in a sh...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I saw Donald Trump in a bar

I walked up to him and saw he was with Mike Pence. I asked him what he’s doing and he says “We are plotting how to start WW3.”
I say “how would you do it?”
He says “kill 2000 Muslims and a sexy blonde girl!”
I said “why would you kill a sexy blonde girl?!”
He turns to Pence and says “I t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The worst joke in the world

WW3 breaks out and the President authorizes use of the most powerful weapon ever made, a joke so bad it causes instant death to the listener. The problem is, it was said to be developed in revolutionary times by British expats and nobody could remember where it has been stashed away.

To find...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.