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Woodpeckers Jokes

There once were two woodpeckers...

There once were two woodpeckers who were friends, and one lived in California, the other in New York. They would visit each other occasionally at their homes. So the woodpecker from California had his friend come out to visit, and was pecking at his tree but couldn’t seem to get through to any bugs....

Why don’t woodpeckers wear underwear?

Because their peckers are on their faces.

A Hawaii woodpecker and a California woodpecker were arguing about which place had the toughest trees.

The Hawaiian woodpecker said Hawaii had a tree that no woodpecker could peck.

The California woodpecker accepted his challenge, and promptly pecked a hole in the tree with no problem. The Hawaiian woodpecker was in awe.

The California woodpecker then challenged the Hawaiian woodpecke...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

From deep in Maine, two woodpeckers are sitting in a tree

and are casually talking about the sweetest trees they've had the pleasure to peck. Looking around, their attention focuses on one specific tree in front of them...

"Man, that's one fine looking beech." The first one said.

"No way, that's just a dope ass birch." The other replied.
<...

There are two woodpeckers having a conversation in a forest when one of them notices a small sapling growing between them...

"Hey, what species of tree do you think this is? I think it's a beech. Or maybe it's a birch?"

"I don't know! I am going to taste it to find out."

The little woodpecker flies over to the sapling and pecks at it a few times.

"Well? What do you think it is?"

"This, my frien...

Why I’m single - a transcript of my first date with an ornithologist

Me: So, what do you do for a living?
Ornithologist: Actually, I’m an ornithologist.
Me: Oh, really? Knock, knock!
Ornithologist (*smiling overbearingly*): Who’s there?
Me: A woodpecker! And you call yourself an ornithologist?
Ornithologist (*trying not to roll eyes*): Good o...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Everyone's saying I'm paranoid for starting these Morse code lessons

but I'm positive those woodpeckers are talking shit

How do trees get pregnant?

Woodpeckers

How do you tell a boy tree from a girl tree?

Boy trees have woodpeckers.

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