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Wedded Jokes

A newly wedded couple

A newly wedded couple moved in to the new house, which happened to be on the same street as grooms parents house. Living so close the mother in law loved to check on her sons wife thru the day and would pay her a visit nearly every day when her son was at work. One afternoon she knocked on the door ...

A newly wedded desperate soldier ..

A newly wedded desperate soldier sends a hand-grenade to his mother-in-law, with a note:

Dearest Mom,
If you pull this ring, I'll be able to get 3 days leave. :P

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

She asked me, "Father, what is the church's position on fellatio?"

It reminded me of the first time I was asked that question. It was a lady who had just wedded.

I told her then, "I wish I can tell you, but I don't know what fellatio is." So then she showed me.

Now whenever anyone asks me that question, I tell them... "I wish I can tell you, but I do...

A man is in the final stages of getting ready for his wedding...

Everything is going well except for one small matter of his bride to be's extremely hot younger sister. One afternoon, a week before the big day, he finds himself alone with her in the house. She slides up to him and suggests to go upstairs - before he finally settles down to a life of wedded bliss....

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Vampires!

So a Man and His newly wedded wife were about to have Sex in this Transylvanian Hotel. She was lying on the bed, dress in nothing but her tiny lingerie. Just when he was about to get on the bed with her and do the deed. A Vampire crashed through the roof between them. It stood there, menacingly, and...

Two melons: A Love Story

One day two melons were laying next to each other in the sunny field. The same thing is also going on in an alternate universe. Tom Melon looks over and sees the most beautiful melon he’s ever laid his melon eyes upon. “I have to get over there and say something to her” he thinks to himself. So he r...

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On finding his bride to be a virgin,

a newly wedded groom is overjoyed and says, "I wanna kiss the one who took care of you and protected your virginity for me".


Bride: Kiss my ass!

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