UPJOKE
bantupoleswendsbashkirukrainianserbiankoreanpolandmoldavianzulurussianslovakberbermanchuafrikaans

Wanda Jokes

What does Wanda and Daredevil have in common?

They both lost their Vision.

What’s the difference between Wanda Maximoff and Matt Murdoch?

Matt knows how to cope without vision.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Wanda needs a dishwasher repairman.

Wanda's dishwasher quit working so she called a repairman. Since she had to go to work the next day, she told the repairman, "I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you a check."
"Oh, by the way, don't worry about my bulldog. He won't b...

Wanda lost sight of her life after the events of Infinity War

Thankfully, she fully recovered her vision.

What is Wanda Maximoff's favorite subject?

Division.

Why wasn't Wanda making future plans?

She had no Vision.

Did you know that Vision gets mad whenever Wanda tries to give him a lap dance?

She really grinds his gears.

what do you call a lady who lost her vision multiple times but still isn't blind?

#Wanda Maximoff

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How does Scarlett Witch relieve Vision’s sexual tension?

Wanda Wacks-him-off.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two ladies talking in heaven

1st woman: Hi! My name is Wanda.

2nd woman: Hi! I'm Lynne. How'd you die?

1st woman: I Froze to Death.

2nd woman: How Horrible!

1st woman: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What a...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How does Vision achieve orgasm?

Wanda Jaximoff

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two old ladies, Wanda and Jean, were chatting one day, talking about this 'n' that, when the subject finally got around to sex...

Wanda said she enjoyed sex all the time and actually, just as much as ever.

Jean was surprised and asked her what her secret was.

Wanda said when she hears her husband pulling the car into the garage, she hurries and takes a shower, jumps into bed and throws her feet up over her head...

Movie night

We wanted to "Netflix and chill" last night, so my wife asked me to put on a movie called " scent of a woman". I could not find it so I put on the next best thing...." A fish called Wanda"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Jamaican man

Once an English man went to Jamaica. He was using the urinal and saw a Jamaican man. He saw the tattoo of initial W A on the Jamaican man's penis and was a bit jealous. He went to a tattoo parlor and got himself a tattoo on his penis. The next day, he met the same Jamaican man and proudly prompted, ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

For years I’ve been hearing about how Cosmo’s Sex Tips changed peoples love lives for the better

Wanda must be one lucky lady!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A couple goes to Jamaica for their 10th anniversary.

The man says, "You know what? We should get each other's initials tattooed on our genitals to prove our loyalty to each other" and his wife agreed. A few days later, they're walking on a nude beach when he noticed with a brief glance from the side, it looked like another guy had a matching tattoo. T...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sal the boxing promoter gets a call Saturday morning of fight night

“Hey boss, it’s Joe at the gym. Big Frank’s had an accident and broke his thumb. He can’t fight for a month”
Sal goes into a melt down. Big Frank was his heavyweight prospect and the headline of that nights card in the Big Apple. Faced with refunding the tickets he gets on the phone to all the ot...

Did you hear about who went to DMX’s funeral?

There was Brenda, LaTisha (uh), Linda, Felicia (okay)
Dawn, LeShaun, Ines, and Alicia (ooh)
Theresa, Monica, Sharron, Nicki (uh-huh)
Lisa, Veronica, Karen, Vicky (damn)
Cookie, well I met her in a ice cream parlor (aight?)
Tonya, Dianne, Lori and Carla (okay)
Marina (uh) Selena (uh...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My friend works at NASA developing robotic exploration vehicles...

A few years back he was intensely busy with a major project involving a multi-million-dollar remote-controlled rover, often sleeping at the lab and coming home only once every 3-4 days to shower, change clothes, and feed his cats. One of his cats got sick at that time, but he didn't even have time t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A couple visits Jamaica for the first time...

A couple visits Jamaica for the first time and decided it would be best to see the country with a tour guide who can show them the best parts.

On the tour, the husband and guide take a quick stop at a local rest station so they can go to the bathroom and relieve themselves. With curiosity get...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.