Skywalk Jokes

He asks what the Jedi master is doing there, to which he replies "Pay well, Jedi council does not. Work two jobs, I must." Fair enough, thinks Anakin. He orders his food, and reaches into his pocket to pay, when Yoda asks, "A beverage, would you like with that?" "Ok," says Anakin, "what do you recom... read more

Han Solo: "No."

Luke Skywalker: "What about Chewbacca?"

Han Solo: "No, I don't do that either."

Chewie is short for Chewbacca

Ani is short for Anakin Skywalker

What is Luke short for?


A stormtrooper

Because he didn't want death.

(My 5 year old made this joke up and he was very proud of himself. I told him I'd post it here for cheap and easy karma)

He couldn't get a Master's degree.

He felt his presents.

He would have been a Master Vader.

Use the FORKS, Luke!

Because he applied for a MasterCard.

The second hand store

For richer or poorer, for better or worse, til Darth do is part.

BURNie SANDers.
I made that up like a year ago but if someone else thought of it, too, my apologies!

Luke: are we on track?

Yoda: off course, we are.

I'm gonna need a right hand, man!

Sandwiches.

Emperor Palpatine

His arguments didn't have a leg to stand on.

The HimaLeah

“Use the Forks, Luke”

He had to take an R2Detour.

You can tell because he cut up his force kin.

Luke: Yoda, we've been walking for hours! Are you sure that we're going the right way?

Yoda: For the tenth time, told you, I have! Off course, we are!

Because he was the Obi Wan left

Lukewarm.

It’s ToYoda.

Because his master card got denied.

Luke ignores him and continues to prepare for the fight.

Vader whispers again, "Luke, I know what you're getting for Christmas."

Luke lowers from his attack stance and asks, "Ok, what are you going on about?"



Vader says, "I can sense your presents."

Because attachments are forbidden.

Ewoked.

"Use the forks, Luke!"

His mom asked why he had blonde hair when he was young, as neither she nor anikin had it.

Luke fell silent, but before he could answer, his father answered " he was going through a rebel phase, dear"

Because when he was truly lost, he did not seek the higher ground

Scar Wars.

A Hoth IRA

He wanted to follow Obi-Wan's advice: "Use divorce, Luke"

"Beach"

Because he was busy riding Solo

They like slaughter not just the men, but the women and the children too

I killed a dozen Yuengling.

Lukewarm

Because that's when the sandman came.

And not just the sand man but the sand woman and and children too

Obi-Wan Kenobi's force ghost materialized and noticed that Master Luke seemed perturbed, and so asked him what the matter was.

Luke replied "Ben, my life outside the Jedi Order is in shambles. It's mainly my marriage. It started off great, but something's changed in recent times. Drastical... read more

He was looking for love in Alderaan places

Second Hand Store

Yeungling. He can kill off a 12-pack by himself.

The Millennium Falcon had to make an emergency stop on an uncharted planet. The trio is greeted by a hostile alien race and placed in a horrendous prison.

After some time they are taken in the night to some kind of tribunal where they are told that all outsiders are regarded as evil demons an... read more

I told this joke to someone in a dream, and when I woke up I realized it was actually funny.

I know what you got for your birthday.
Luke looked at him and said "how do you know that?"
Darth Vadar replied "I can feel your presents".

Skywalker Ranch

And he asked me why 7 was such a scary number

I told him that 789

But Yoda insists

It was 678

Angrily, Luke shouted after him as he ran away, “Hey, you Owe Me One Canoli!”

hand down

...light sabers are flashing, the balance is delicate, but suddenly Luke knocks Darth's weapon away. As it's skidding out of reach, Luke moves in for the final blow. Quickly, Darth holds up a hand and says "Luke, wait! I need to tell you something". Luke, sensing a trap, asks why he should do such a... read more

He became best friends with hand solo.

After a while Obi Wan turns to him and says "use the forks luke".

And Luke is losing. He knows that unless he does something soon, he's going to die. So he thinks fast and says to Darth Vader, "Darth Vader, I know what you're getting for Christmas."

Darth Vader hesitates for a moment and says "How do you know?"

And Luke responds "I felt your presen... read more

He used excessive force

Only one canoli.

.... Luke scans the menu and sees his favorite egg fried rice so he say to R2-D2 “Oh I’m definitely ordering that!” Sure enough when the waiter comes along he orders the egg fried rice and a few other side dishes.

Now Luke is absolutely starving, so as soon as his meal arrives he picks up the... read more

Toyodas

(snickering) Nice suit, must have cost you an ...

…actually it was Mannequin Skywalker.

Puke Skywalker

Panakin Skywalker

And she pretended to be a dead fish.

It’s not that big of a shock that Darth Vader is Luke Skywalker’s father.


I mean, they have the same no’s.

**Manakin Skywalker**

This wasn't casual drinking, we got absolutely wasted. I still have a little bit of a headache from the hangover. I don't remember a lot from the night, but I do remember multiple dares, and a bet about who could drink the most without blacking out. I don't remember what placement I got, but I do kn... read more