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Voluntarily Jokes

An InCel is someone who is involuntarily celibate. What do you call someone who is voluntarily celibate?

Married.

11 People on a rope

11 people were hanging on a rope, under a helicopter.

10 men and 1 woman

The rope was not strong enough to carry them all, so they decided that one had to leave.

Because otherwise they were all going to fall.

They weren't able to choose that person, until the woman gave a...

I recently started working for a charity that convinces local supermarkets to give us their expiring baked goods to donate to refugees and the local homeless. We're working in conjunction with local churches to help distribute donations. All of us are there voluntarily, after all..

It's a naan-prophet organization.

I don't get why people are ripping on Trump for not being tested for the coronavirus.

Let's be honest here, even that thing wouldn't voluntarily touch him.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Biden, Macron, and Putin make a bet who is going to successfully feed mustard to dog

Biden takes the mustard bottle, shoves it in dogs mouth, then squeezes. "That's animal cruelty!" the other two protest.

Macron takes a sausage, puts the mustard inside it, then give it to the dog. "That's cheating!" the other two protest.

Putin takes the mustard, then squeezes it all o...

A German, an American, and a Russian are arguing who can feed a spoonful of mustard to a cat more easily...

The German just grabs the cat and forces the spoon with mustard into its mouth. The other two protest: "This is violence!"

The American hides the mustard between two slices of sausage. The other two protest: "This is deception!"

The Russian spreads the mustard under the cat's tail. The...

The United States, China and Russia are attending a military exercise competition

To see which army is the strongest, the United Nations placed three rabbits in three forests.the one spent least time and sent least soldiers wins.
On day one, the U.S. Army go first. They spent half a day meeting to formulate a battle plan, strictly divide the labor, and then sent a hundred spe...

A fascist, liberal, and communist start arguing who’s got a better ideology

To settle their argument, they decide to see whose ideology can make a cat eat mustard.

Fascist takes a spoonful of mustard and forcefully shoves it down the cat’s throat.

Liberal puts mustard between two pieces of tasty meat and thus tricks the cat into eating it.

Communist sme...

Law class in Africa...

*Professor*: "If you have to give an orange to me, what will you say?"

*Student*: "Take this orange."

*Professor*: "No. Say it like a lawyer would."

*Student*: "I, Chakubanga, son of Mzee Manoti resident of Mbezi Tanki Bovu, do hereby solemnly affirm & voluntarily & cons...

The leaders of the Big Three after the conference in Yalta

After WW2 in 1945 the leaders of the Big Three(USA, UK and the Soviet Union) respectively Roosevelt, Churchill and Stalin met in Yalta for a conference to decide the fate of the world.

After the conference they wanted to have some fun. They decided to try and make the Persian cat in the resid...

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