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A preacher was telling his congregation about the virtues of forgiving their enemies.

He asked if anyone there had no enemies. An 85 year old man raises his hand. The preacher is amazed. He says, "Will you tell us, good sir, how is you have no enemies?" The old man says, " yeah, I've outlived all the fuckers."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Bicycle: "A teaching moment"

A Priest was about to finish his ten-year tour of missionary duty and was leaving his Mission in the jungle where he has spent years teaching the natives about the Bible and Christian values, in their own language, when he realizes that the one thing he never really taught them was how to speak Engl...

I was with my wife in a taxi in Beijing....

I was with my wife in a taxi in Beijing. It was the last day of our holiday, and she was extolling the virtues of GoogleTranslate.

"It's great," she said, just point the camera at something and it translates the text in place. And she was right - for reading menus or road signs it was a l...

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Four women go on a road trip

No real reason, they just need to blow off some steam.

They pick a random highway and start driving. They're having a great time, laughing and joking the whole time. It's starting to get late, and they see a billboard advertising a hotel for women only.

Intrigued, they take the turnoff...

Finkelstein and Jesus

Jesus was wandering around Jerusalem when he decided that he really needed a new robe.

After looking around for a while, he saw a sign for "Finkelstein the Tailor."

So, he went in and made the necessary arrangements to have Finkelstein prepare a new robe for him. A few days later, wh...

An American, a Korean, a Chinese, and a Russian walk into a bar...

...they settled into their seats and when they had loosened up after a few drinks they decided to extol the virtues of their homelands.

"American industry is so superb," said the American. "A sports team can decide to move to a different city, and within a year and a half we can build a stat...

President's Day jokes

Q. Why did George Washington have trouble sleeping?

A. Because he couldn't lie.

Q. What do you call George Washington's false teeth?

A. Presidentures!

Q. What would George Washington be if he were alive today?

A. Really, really, really old!

Abraham Lincoln...

Disillusioned with the Republican Party, Donald Trump gets inspired...

Disillusioned with the Republican party, Trump wakes up one day with an idea. Summoning Mike Pence to his office, he lays out his vision.

"Mike, the Republican Party is a relic of the past. We need to start fresh with a brand new party of loyal Americans."

"That's brilliant sir, but wh...

A game develper goes to H*ll

A young game developer is killed before his time, and stands before Saint Peter.
"Because you died so young, we cannot properly judge you on your sins and virtues. Therefore, you will be allowed to choose between going to Heaven or Hell."
Before the developer can express his dismay, St. Peter ...

Heaven and hell

A man dies and goes to see Saint Peter knocks on the pearly gates. Saint Peter greets the man and goes through his papers. “Huh, he says, that’s interesting. It turns out that you have had just as many virtues as vices in your life, so I guess I will leave it up to you, whether you want to go to hea...

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An old WWII veteran was speaking with his grandson

and extolling the virtues of being reckless and enjoying life while young.
"When I was your age, I went to Paris with some lads and we had a great time! We had our way with any French women we wanted, pissed on the Eifel tower, and beat the shit out of every Frog that crossed our paths! You have...

An Ethical Objectivist, a Relativist, and a Nihilist walk into a bar...

The Ethical Objectivist orders water, the Relativist orders a glass of wine and the Nihilist steals a beer. The Ethical Objectivist is appalled at the Nihilist, and is upset the two are drinking. The Relativist says, “Don’t worry. You aren’t guilty by association.” The Nihilist shrugs and says, “I w...

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