What did the Tibetan monk say when he saw the face of Jesus in a tub of margarine?

"I can't believe it's not Buddha."

TIL that Tibetan leaders can issue special forgiveness to buxom country music singers

It's known as the Dalai Pardon

If you loiter in a Tibetan spiritual leaders sandwich shop every day, then...

... you dilly dally in the Dalai's deli daily.

What do Tibetans use to move their alpacas around?

Dolly Llamas

My Tibetan friend is soo lazy.

I always see Himalayan there.

Heavy Metal Icon Rob Halford abandoned fame to live as a monk in a Tibetan monastery...

Buddhist Priest.

After my wife left me, I sold all her jewelries and bought a Tibetan Mastiff to keep me company.

She's gonna be so mad when she returns from work.

What do you call the Tibetan God of Regret?

The Shoulda Coulda Woulda Buddha.

A man joins a Tibetan temple

He takes a vow of silence but is allowed to say two words every year.

After an arduous 12 months of eating rice, sleeping on a wooden bed with a raggedy blanket, and working 14-hour days in the field, the man goes to the head monk and says his two words:

“More blankets.”

Anoth...

An old ladies dies and goes to heaven...

When she gets there, she is confused to find everyone furiously cracking eggs, dumping flour, and mixing batter.

She turns around and sees an entire section dedicated to decoration, with elaborate concoctions of strawberries, frosting, and tiering at every station.

Finally, she sees so...

What's a Tibetan monk's favorite food?

Oooommmmlette

After visiting the US, a Tibetan monk made the mistake of meditating on his flight home.

He transcended to another plane and ended up in Albuquerque.

How to beat a Tibetan monk

A Tibetan monk and his young subordinate arrive in a small town in medieval England to challenge it's men to fight.

The town sheriff tells his best fighter to step up to the challenge, but the smug monk beats him down with a single, well placed blow.

The sheriff sends in two more men,...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man's car breaks down in Tibet..

A man's car breaks down in Tibet, and wouldn't you know it? His phone gets no service. So he walks up a long windy road to a huge monastery at the top of the hill. He knocks at the reinforced double doors and a Tibetan monk after some minutes finally opens.

"My car broke down. Do you...

What did the Tibetan boy say when his father asked for help carrying his bags?

Sure Pa.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Rare Dish

This is a long one.

An English cook is trying to build up his skills as a chef. He's been working for years learning all sorts of rare and unique dishes to serve at his mentor's restaurant.

One day a wealthy guest at the restaurant asks to meet the cook and says "While I enjoyed the me...

Why didn't the Tibetan girl trust her boyfriend?

Himalayan

Went to a meeting of the Tibetan Ungulates society......

Didn't like it though. It was all "Yak yak yak"

In 1240 CE, the Mongols invaded Tibet

... and the Tibetan leader, Lama Sakya Pandita, marshaled all able-bodied men in Lhasa to repel the invasion. Commoners, nobility and peasants answered the summons, but Sakya's own monks hesitated. After all, they had all taken vows of nonviolence, and had not harmed so much as a fly since their i...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Englishman, a Scotsman, a Latvian..

an Irishman, a Chinese, a Japanese, a Kiwi, a Canuck, an Eskimo, a Fijian, a Turk, an Aussie, a Yank, an Egyptian, a Spaniard, a Mongolian, a Tibetan, a Polack, a Mexican, a Spaniard, a Greek, a Russian, an Estonian, a German, an Indian, an Italian, a Brazilian, a Kenyan, a South African, a Filipino...

A man seeks enlightenment as a Buddhist monk

So he joins a Tibetan monastry and takes a vow of silence whereby he is only permitted to say two words every five years.

After five years he appears before the elders and they ask him what he wishes to say. He says, "Food's cold."

Ten years later he appears before them again. The elde...

There is going to be a battle royal between religious leaders

I would put $20 on the Dalai Lama if I were a Tibetan man.

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