How can you know for sure whether someone is really vaccinated?

Ask them who won the election.

Want to hear a Covid-19 joke?

If you've been vaccinated, you probably won't get it ...

What do Pro-Vaxxers and Anti-Vaxxers have in common?

They'll never be fully vaccinated.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I only have sex with vaccinated women

Well just as well, they don't mind a little prick.

“I will never vaccinate our children” yelled my husband.

“Why can’t we just pay a doctor to do that like a normally family” he said.

I heard they're not letting Eminem get fully vaccinated.

They told him "you only get one shot."

I only date women who have been vaccinated

Not because I'm afraid of getting sick, I just know the ones who are vaccinated don't mind a little prick.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man takes a walk with his new girlfriend who he's been dating for three months

About 20 minutes into the walk, they pass a park and see two bunnies mating. The woman says "how does the male bunny know that the female bunny is ready for sex?" The man says "it's natural, the male can smell it".

The couple continues to walk for another 20 minutes and they pass a forest whe...

Great news! The U.S. is now 61.7% fully vaccinated ...

... and 28.4% fully dewormed.

how many people have been vaccinated all across the globe?

i dont have the exact number, but its probably moderna few.

Let me just say that I'll NEVER vaccinate myself or my children!

I'll rather have a healthcare worker do that.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My covid status is like my sex life

I'm vaccinated

I can try to make a joke about vaccinated people

.... but they won't get viral

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My kids keep asking me if can let them play outside now that people are getting vaccinated from the virus…

I have to keep reminding them that they were in the basement before COVID and they’re gonna be in that basement way after COVID.

Dad, what is evolution?

Dad: it's when smart people get fully vaccinated before the big delta wave

How can you tell the difference between vaccinated vs un-vaccinated people?

Ask them who won the election.

A friend of mine, a mother of four, refused to have her children vaccinated.

Edit: mother of three... Edit: mother of two... Edit: mother of one...

Now that I am vaccinated I can joke about Covid

Here are a few.

———————

Day 251 at home and the dog is looking at me like, “See? This is why I chew the furniture!”

———————

Nail salons, hair salons, waxing centres and tanning places are closed. It’s about to get ugly out there!

———————

What’s the best way...

Don't be an Anti-Vaxxer,

getting your Uncles vaccinated is just as important!

I made this joke up randomly at the store...

Did you hear Cyclops of the x-men got vaccinated?

He got his pfizer.

Just got vaccinated!

Nothing special really, but you do get tired and just want to go home and browse Internet Explorer or Edge.

A friend of mine went to take the vaccine for covid yesterday

After getting vaccinated, his vision was blurred and when he reached home, he called the hospital that gave him the vaccine for advice asking if he should be hospitalized.

The hospital told him to come back and collect his glasses

My dad's sister is a geriatric nurse.

With Covid her life has been crazy busy over the past year. She has seen far too many patients die. Now that we have the vaccine she's very excited and gets borderline preachy on why we should all get vaccinated. She talks about it non-stop. It's annoying!

It's like she's become Auntie Vaxx!

True Story: My wife took my 15 year old daughter to get her 1st...

Pfizer vaccination on Friday night at a local CVS. The place was packed and there was an older couple there thanking everyone for getting vaccinated. When my wife and daughter got home they were telling me about how packed it was. My daughter mentioned the older couple and said that when they tha...

my girlfriend got vaccinated today

now she wont hold any air

William Shakespeare came to get vaccinated.

Nurse: Which arm?

Shakespeare: As You Like It

Nurse: Was that painful?

Shakespeare: Much Ado About Nothing

Nurse: You will have to have a second jab.

Shakespeare: Measure For Measure

Nurse: So what do you think of the general awareness with regard to Covi...

President Biden visits a fully vaccinated senior home

After a heartful speech in which he thanked the staff for their effort and the residents for their sacrifices he was doing the hand-shaking round. As he greeted a particular old woman who appeared to be quite "out of it", he asked her, "Do you know who I am?". Her response was simply, "No, but there...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sex workers in Vancouver, Canada are being given early access to the Covid vaccine. NSFW

Now, who's dick do I have to suck to get vaccinated?

People who vaccinate their kids are crazy!

Hell no, I didn’t vaccinate my son! Are you out of your mind!? I had a doctor do it!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I got vaccinated today

It was one of those drive thru deals where you don’t leave your car. Right before the nurse injects me she says “little prick”. So I called her a fat bitch and drove off. What’s wrong with people these days?

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