I used to work in a pub next to a hospital

and this guy walked in one day with his hospital gown on and holding a drip on a stand that was still connected to his veins. I asked him how I could help? and bizarrely he said can I have 2 pints of lager, 2 pints of Guinness, 4 jack Daniels and coke, 3 gin and tonics, and 6 shots of tequila. It’s ...

I recently went to a party with my wife...

There was a woman there who was obviously interested in me...at the end of the night, I was trying to determine if I was sober enough to drive. My wife said, I’m sure you’re fine, you’ve only had three drinks. All of a sudden the woman who had been hitting on me piped up “no he had six gin and tonic...

If my last name were Plate, I'd open a computer repair shop...

and call it Plate Tech Tonics.

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