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Balm Jokes

Women really know how to hold a grudge over the smallest things. My wife asked me to pass her the lip balm, and by mistake, I gave her a tube of Super Glue.

It's been a month now and she's still not speaking to me

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Want to know why I put lip balm on my bum hole?

Keeps the chaps away

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man with a tendency to over-explain things lays on his therapist's couch.

The therapist says “I have a new exercise for you today. Instead of spending an hour talking about your day, try to tell me the essentials of what happened in one breath.”
The patient agrees and takes a deep breath

“So they cast Callie Hernandez as Supergirl and I’m not sure if it was th...

My first dad joke.

Nurse: so, this cream is like chapstick for your nipples.

Me: ohhh so nip balm?


Girlfriend: please ignore him.


Dad jokes are coming in strong guys.

Looking for a gift that will leave her speechless?

Gorilla glue lip balm.

A company testing on animals just got sued for testing a chapstick on horses that made their lips burn off.

They called it neigh-balm.

What does Joan Jett use when her lips are chapped?

Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-cherry balm!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear about the parents that auctioned off the right to name their firstborn child?

They were expecting after trying to get pregnant for a long time. But when they tried to discuss what they should name the child, it was causing all kinds of arguments. They just couldn’t come to an agreement and there was a lot of tension between them. It got to the point where the wife was staying...

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