UPJOKE
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Why did Selena Gomez dump The Weeknd on a Monday?

She wished The Weeknd was longer.

The Weeknd is doing the Pepsi Half Time Show

...but all the songs are about coke.

Why do people with no arms like The Weeknd?

Because they can't feel their faces either.

I had a terrible nightmare

It was quite strange. I dreamt that the Canadian singer-songwriter Abel Makkonen Tesfaye had conquered the world and instituted a horrible system of forced labor. There was no alternative.

Everybody was workin' for The Weeknd.

Why should you save your tears for another day?

Because nobody should cry on The Weeknd.

Waited until the end of the halftime show...

To tell my kids that The Weeknd was over.

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