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Orifice Jokes

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What Are The Two Most Important Orifices' On A Woman?

The nostrils so she can breathe while she sucks your dick.

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A man invites some of his fetish club over for breakfast....

They are catching up on life and swapping stories about work, their grandkids’ birthdays, their recent stock market fortunes, and so on, when the subject of what they’re most proud of comes up.


Gerald, a 35 year old dentist, proudly exclaims, “Of everyone here, I by far, have the larges...

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What do you call a warehouse full of prostitutes?

Orifice Depot

I used to work doing Colonoscopies when I got home I would tell my wife

Another tough day at the orifice.

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porn star.

A male porn star gets home from work, sits down in the chair, his girlfriend says, "you look exhausted,!"

he says, "yes, I've had a hard day at the orifice. "

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Buying dog food

One day I was at Wal-mart buying a bag of dog food. While in the check-out line, a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. Why else would I be buying dog food, RIGHT???So on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog. "I'm starting the dog food diet again. I probably shouldn't because I ended up ...

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Did you hear about the penis that got into trouble at work?

He's in the HR's orifice now.

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God on butts...

God: let's make them poop and fart from the same orifice

Angels: how will they control what happens when?

God: make it work seamlessly like 95% of the time

Angels: and the other 5%?

God: tell them I work in mysterious ways

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A man goes to a brothel and asks for a unique experience.

A man goes to a brothel and asks for a unique experience.

The madam introduces him to a working woman with a glass eye whom brings him to her room.

Once there, she pops the glass eye out of the socket and tells the man to insert his penis in the orifice and thrust in and out.

F...

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Choking on the Phonetic Alphabet

Last week, I was registering for a website when I ran into a little trouble and had to call their customer support. We were going through some basic form information and he was having trouble understanding my spelling so he told me to use the phonetic alphabet.

For those of you that don't kn...

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A chicken walks into a bar..

..and orders five flagons of mead. After the fourth alcoholic beverage, the bartender asks him..

  

"Hey buddy why the long fac..oh wait not a horse lol."

  

The chicken gulps down his fifth drink and laments.

  

"You see, that ott...

A woman goes to a doctor's office.

Upset and panicky, she blurts out, “Doctor, every time I go to a bar, I wake up days later in a strange part of town, surrounded by guys, bleeding from every orifice, my clothing ripped and stained, my money gone, with dry, cracked hands.”

The doctor nods. “You clearly have a problem.” ...

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A worried woman...[nsfw]

A woman begins dating a new man, and it seems like their relationship is developing well. However, she's worried about the overly large size of her lady orifice. So, she decides to hold off the young man's ardor. She knows she can't wait forever, but she just can't think of what else to do.

F...

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