What's the difference between a Tesla and a dead hooker?

I don't have a Tesla in my garage.

Did you know that Tesla has started producing an anti-Corona device?

It's called the Elon Mask.

Did you know Teslas don't have that new car smell?

They have more of an Elon Musk.

I got a brand new Tesla for my partner

Pretty decent trade, if you as me.

Why can the Tesla cybertruck go faster than a Porsche 911?

It renders faster

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Every since I bought a Tesla and they made weed legal, life hasn’t been the same

Now I have to tell hitchhikers that ass is the only acceptable form of payment.

What do Elon Musk and Thomas Edison have in common?

They both got rich off of Tesla.

What did Nikola Tesla say after being shocked by his Tesla Coil?

That hertz alot

What do you call Nikola Tesla and Thomas Edison's band?

AC/DC

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Elon Musk says he is going to pull Tesla out of California

Never trust a guy with 6 kids that says he is going to pull out

What do you call the combination of Tesla, SpaceX, and The Boring Company?

3Musketeers

I'm worried about my flatmate. In the last week he has recently just purchased himself a new Ford, Tesla, BMW, Toyota

I think he might have a car owner virus.

A man in his 40's bought a new Tesla Model S and was out for a nice evening drive.

A man in his 40's bought a new Tesla Model S and was out for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair, and he decided to open her up. As the needle jumped up to 90 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him. "There's no way th...

Tesla made a coupe, sedan, SUV, semi, and truck. The next should be..

The Elon Busk

Shame about the Tesla driver that crashed while watching a movie.

He should've watched the trailer.

What do you call a stolen Tesla?

An Edison

Imagine missing a payment on a TESLA,

and the car drives itself back to the dealership.

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My sex life is like a Tesla...

Zero emissions.

Tesla to launch a new Electric lawnmower

It will be called e-Lawn!

Why do Redditor love Nikola Tesla?

Because Tesla is how every Redditor views themselves. An undervalued, unappreciated genius who had an Edison in their life that stole everything from them.

I wish I had an electric car like a Tesla...

...so I'm pretty Madagascar is all I can afford.

A man was asleep while driving on his Tesla.

A officer stopped the car and said: “Sir, you’re under a rest.”

Miss 3 consecutive payments of Tesla

The car drives itself back to the sales house

There are rumors that Tesla is considering on a stretched, three row version of their Model X SUV. The project is on Musk's desk waiting for a decision on whether to go forward.

Their next car is Elon gated.

What do Tesla brand car airfresheners smell like?

Elon Musk

K. I'll show myself out.

Thomas Edison stole the design for a film-playing box from Tesla. Tesla confronted Edison about it, but instead of apologizing he accused Tesla of trying to steal his idea.

Classic case of projection

Why did the Audi laugh so hard at the Tesla's joke?

He didn't hear it coming!

What's the difference between a Tesla and a porcupine?

The porcupine has the pricks on the outside.

[If you own a Tesla, please substitute "Range Rover" or whatever other brand makes you feel better.]

How did the African island compete with Tesla?

Madagascar.

My friends Tesla up and left him one day!

Apparently the car’s software concluded he wasn’t the right driver

Newton, Pascal and Tesla were playing hide and go seek.

For the first round, Tesla was the seeker. He began counting to 100 and Pascal scurried off to find somewhere to hide.
However, Newton simply drew a square on the ground and stepped into it.

When Tesla finished counting he opened his eyes to see Newton standing in front of him, not even at...

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The founders of Tesla and Microsoft have joined forces to create their new brand of Viagra...

Elon Gates.

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Charged up the tesla last night

Just the name we gave my partners sex toy to make us sound rich

The easiest way to get an unpaid internship with Tesla's QA department is...

...to order a Tesla vehicle.

What Is the Number One Complaint from Tesla Employees?

No matter where you are in the facility it always smells a little musky.

My friend is trying to convince me not to buy a Tesla because electric cars use up a lot of battery going uphill.

But that’s a hill I’m willing to die on.

People get mad at Tesla drivers for falling asleep behind the wheel.

My car must be broken. Every time I fall asleep while driving it takes me to the hospital.

What is Tesla's favorite gun?

A musket

It seems like people either love or hate the new Tesla truck design...

It sure is a wedge issue!

A snail crawls into a Tesla dealership...

A salesman asks how he can help. The snail says, "I want a Model S."

The salesman scoffs and says, "You're a *snail.* Why would you want a Tesla Model S?"

The snail sadly replies, "Nobody ever pays attention or even notices me. I can't seem to make friends or meet girls. I figure i...

Why is the top speed for a Tesla 68?

Because sparks fly when you reverse polarity.

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The Big Bang Theory

# Some Background Info

The TV show "The Big Bang Theory" was created by Chuck Lorre. At the end of each episode he inserted a one screen humorous comment.

While season 4 was being produced, the lead actress had a horseback riding accident unrelated to the show which caused her a broke...

Tesla

You can't Tokyo Drift in a Tesla

You can only do the Electric Slide

My brother got a Tesla

My brother picked up a Tesla a few months back and it spoiled him for other cars. So last night, I pick him up from the airport in my old Yaris.

After a few minutes of driving, he says, “We need to get you into something all-electric.”

Looking back, I reply, “Best I can afford is a bat...

Tesla's new car smell.

I heard they designed a special new car smell just for Tesla's.

They call it Elons musk.

Apparently there’s a strange smell in new Teslas

Apparently it’s quite musky

CEO of Tesla invented solar-energy gathering grass!

I love the stuff, I filled my entire yard with it. My only complaint is the weird smell. Has a real e-lawn musk to it.

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Not sure I like my new car salesman. I called and asked if there was any wiggle room on buying a new Tesla. He said, "Sure thing!"

"Bring the wife on down and we'll dicker!"

Man, I really want a Tesla Roadster...

But the price keeps skyrocketing!

I had a friend win a brand new Tesla at a radio promotion

It was free of charge...

I’m so sick of Tesla jokes

They’re revolting

Tesla is considering releasing a line of electric buses named after Egyptian gods.

It'll be A-new-bus.

Italian Chefs can now get an exclusive software update for their Tesla

It's been named Carpatchio

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I was in the shower tonight and my wife told me that I’m like a Tesla

Sexy as hell but overpriced and have a limited range

A man walked into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him

### A man walked into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him

As he sat down, the waitress came over and asked for their orders. The man said, "I'll have a hamburger, fries and a coke." Then he turned to the ostrich and asked, "What's yours?" "I'll have the same," said the ostrich. ...

So a BMW rolls up on a tesla and says "you wouldn't even run without all those fancy computers and screens"

The tesla responds "OK BEAMER!"”

Ford is creating a new company to manufacture electric vehicles using Tesla software and batteries.

They're naming it Edison.

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What is the difference between a Tesla and Hitler

Tesla has no gas bills

Your mama so stupid she tried kill herself in the garage with the car running...

Too bad she drives a Tesla.

Apple has partnered with Tesla to make a new Car

They are having trouble installing windows

I heard Macy's is selling this new perfume that has that "new Tesla smell"

They're calling it 'Elon Musk'.

What's the smell in every new Tesla called?

Elon's musk

*badum tss*

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Suggestions for Tesla sentry mode...

(based on a thread over in r/TeslaMotors)

Tesla Sentry Mode is the name of the car's feature that detects when someone is near the car when it is parked; it saves video from that time period and notifies the owner how many incidents have occurred while s/he's been away from the car. It also p...

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A Redheaded farmer is out in his field minding his own business.

He's tidying up down by the fence next to the road.

A posh limey comes gliding up in his Tesla.

Paddy, that's the Irish farmer, didn't hear the limey roll up so the limey honks his horn, startling Paddy.

"I say," asked the limey "does this road go to the Blarney Stone my good ma...

What’s the difference between a porcupine and a Tesla?

A porcupine carries it’s pricks on the outside.

A dyslexic guy bought a Tesla.

He thought it’s a Steal.

Tesla has announced an Alexa speaker.

It is supposed to be quite elonquent.

What’s the model name of Tesla’s new SUV?

Journalist: “What’s the model name of the upcoming SUV?”

Elon Musk: ’Y’.

Journalist: “Because I’m asking.”

Musk: “And I’m telling you.”

Journalist: “So if you’re telling me, what did you say it’s called?”

Musk: ‘Y’

Journalist: “Why?”

Musk: “Exactly.”<...

What do you call a stolen Tesla?

An Edison.

Tesla released a car air freshener last week...

It's called "Elon's musk".

- Congrats on Q3 Elon, enjoy my repost everyone that missed it.

If the owner of Tesla were to make a cologne, what would he call it?

Elon’s Musk

Einstein and Tesla walked into a bar...

...but Edison walked into a pascal.

Tesla have announced they are going to build the worlds biggest battery.

Yet it still won't last a day on an iPhone

What do you call a place of religious worship for Tesla cars?

An Elon Mosque

Before you say Tesla backwards

Make sure everything is alset.

Did you hear what they’re calling this Tesla scandal?

Elongate, it’s gonna be really drawn out.

A Tesla owner, a Crissfitter, and a Vegan walk into a bar.

How do I know, they told everyone in the place in the first five minutes.

Why does Mr. T like to drive Teslas?

Cuz he pities the fuel

The all new self-driving Tesla has a shower facility in it

Time to get rid of that Musk

Did you hear where the new Tesla factory is being built?

Mad-at-gas-car.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I can never get anything right. Yesterday I attempted suicide.

My wife left for work. I went into the garage, sealed the windows and doors.
Started my car, let it run.
I sat in my lawn chair and closed my eyes. After eight hours, nothing. I felt the same. I was soo pissed off I shut of my Tesla and went back inside.

What's the difference between Chris Brown and a Tesla?

The Tesla gets fewer battery charges in a year.

What do Tesla cars smell of?

Elon's Musk! (thanks 7 year old son!)

Tesla briefly investigated reusable bio engines made from plants. Wooden car body, wooden wheels and a wooden engine.

It wooden go.

Nikola Tesla was in trouble - he had not done his electrical studies assignment and his teacher was not happy...

His teacher asks, "well, where is it?".

Searching for a legitimate excuse, Tesla says, "I did it - but the dog ate my ohmwork".

What's the difference between a porcupine and a Tesla?

The porcupine has pricks on the outside and would never get a smug, personalized license plate.

Elon Musk Announces Odd location for New Tesla Factory in the Country of........

##

Mad-at-gas-car

I bought a Tesla and went to prison.

I got charged with battery.

TIL that Nikola Tesla threw the bomb that killed Archduke Franz Ferdinand, sparking WWI...

Whoops, wrong Serb.

Apparently Tesla is producing a new cologne that acts as a strong pheromone,

They're calling it, "Elon's Musk"

Some people say Tesla’s interiors all smell the same...

Sort of like an Elon Musk.

I had to quit my job at the Tesla factory today

I was allergic to Elon’s Musk.

99 dead in Tesla autopilot car crash

This has caused Tesla to drop all ideas of a battle Royale mode for Tesla cars

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