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Tesla Jokes

Shame about the Tesla driver that crashed while watching a movie.

He should've watched the trailer.

New Teslas don't come with a new car smell

They come with an Elon Musk.

Tesla founder Elon Musk is originally from South Africa, which is strange

You’d think he was from mad-at-gas-car.

How do you know if someone owns a Tesla?

Don't worry, they'll tell you

Imagine missing a payment on a TESLA,

and the car drives itself back to the dealership.

What happens if a Tesla gets hit by lightning!

No need to charge it for the next year!?

What do you call a stolen Tesla?

An Edison.

What do you call the combination of Tesla, SpaceX, and The Boring Company?

3Musketeers

Before you say "Tesla" backwards, make sure everyone's ready.

All set?

Einstein, Tesla, Newton, and Pascal are all playing Hide 'N Seek

It is Einstein's turn to be it. So he covers his eyes and slowly counts to 20.

Tesla climbs up a tree, Pascal jumps behind a bush, and Newton stands right where he is and draws a 1m x 1m square around him.

"...eighteen, nineteen, twenty! Ready or not, here I come!" exclaims Einstein....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Elon Musk says he is going to pull Tesla out of California

Never trust a guy with 6 kids that says he is going to pull out

What will Tesla name their electric lawnmower?

E-Lawn

a man was driving his Tesla when

an old truck forced him to stop

after greetings, the truck driver suggested that they swap their cars

"are you out of your mind, who would ever want to swap a new beautiful eco-friendly Tesla with a loud old smoking truck ?"

"you don't und...

The Estate of Nichola Tesla sues Tesla Motors to reclaim the name...

Elon Musk is unfazed.

He renames his company to teXla.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Every since I bought a Tesla and they made weed legal, life hasn’t been the same

Now I have to tell hitchhikers that ass is the only acceptable form of payment.

Christmas was great! I got a new Tesla for my wife.

I thought it was a good trade.

Man, I really want a Tesla Roadster...

But the price keeps skyrocketing!

Tesla have just announced their new lawn mower

E Lawn

I think my local garage is ripping me off...

does anyone else think £500 for a Tesla exhaust is a lot?

Tesla is releasing a new cologne

…it’s called Elon’s Musk

Did you hear about the Tesla that was arrested?

It had been charged with battery...

A vegan bitcoin investor who owns a Tesla, does CrossFit, and refused to vote in the last election walks into a bar

The real question is, what he’s going to bring up first?

Why are Tesla factories littered with calculators?

Because bots don't count.

How can you tell Elon Musk joined Tesla after it was founded?

It isn't called X-cars.

Tesla

You can't Tokyo Drift in a Tesla

You can only do the Electric Slide

What do you call a pair of Teslas?

Teslacles.

My brother got a Tesla

My brother picked up a Tesla a few months back and it spoiled him for other cars. So last night, I pick him up from the airport in my old Yaris.

After a few minutes of driving, he says, “We need to get you into something all-electric.”

Looking back, I reply, “Best I can afford is a bat...

What do you call Nikola Tesla and Thomas Edison's band?

AC/DC

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An atheist dies, goes to hell, and finds himself in a lush park with butterflies.

His physical body has transformed back into its prime and he's then greeted by Satan who says "Why hello there! Welcome to hell. Let me show you around, you're gonna love it here."

Satan points to a nice house and says "what do you think of this house?" The atheist replies "It's beautiful, I ...

What did Nikola Tesla say after being shocked by his Tesla Coil?

That hertz alot

Tesla held a charity convention for the deaf last week

the entire day was just sign, sign everywhere a sign

She has a Tesla!

Wife (dying): After I die you marry a nice woman

Husband: No I can never do that

Wife: Give my belongings to her. My room, my dresses, my car,....

Husband: No need she already has a Tesla Model X

Wife: WTF !!??!!!!!!

What's the difference between Chris Brown and a Tesla?

The Tesla gets fewer battery charges in a year.

Thomas Edison stole the design for a film-playing box from Tesla. Tesla confronted Edison about it, but instead of apologizing he accused Tesla of trying to steal his idea.

Classic case of projection

Police responded to a reported burglary at Tesla’s robotics lab.

It was an Optimus crime.

What does Elon Musk and a Tesla have in common?

They both have a hard time staying in their lane.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My sex life is like a Tesla...

Zero emissions.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Suggestions for Tesla sentry mode...

(based on a thread over in r/TeslaMotors)

Tesla Sentry Mode is the name of the car's feature that detects when someone is near the car when it is parked; it saves video from that time period and notifies the owner how many incidents have occurred while s/he's been away from the car. It also p...

How did the African island compete with Tesla?

Madagascar.

What is Tesla's favorite gun?

A musket

Why can the Tesla cybertruck go faster than a Porsche 911?

It renders faster

What do you call a stolen Tesla?

An Edison.

What's the difference between Tesla and Nestle?

Nestle's child slaves are 1700 miles northwest of Tesla's child slaves.

Thomas Edison needed Nikolai Tesla, Joseph Swan, James Bowman Lindsay etc to invent the light bulb.

Many hands make light work.

A snail crawls into a Tesla dealership...

A salesman asks how he can help. The snail says, "I want a Model S."

The salesman scoffs and says, "You're a *snail.* Why would you want a Tesla Model S?"

The snail sadly replies, "Nobody ever pays attention or even notices me. I can't seem to make friends or meet girls. I figure i...

Why do Redditor love Nikola Tesla?

Because Tesla is how every Redditor views themselves. An undervalued, unappreciated genius who had an Edison in their life that stole everything from them.

What do Tesla brand car airfresheners smell like?

Elon Musk

K. I'll show myself out.

Miss 3 consecutive payments of Tesla

The car drives itself back to the sales house

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I’m back with another shitty joke again!! Alright so I just figured out why Teslas are so damn expensive…

It’s because they charge A LOT xD

Why did Tesla read newspapers?

To know about current events.

Tesla has announced an Alexa speaker.

It is supposed to be quite elonquent.

What Is the Number One Complaint from Tesla Employees?

No matter where you are in the facility it always smells a little musky.

Tesla is considering releasing a line of electric buses named after Egyptian gods.

It'll be A-new-bus.

I’m so sick of Tesla jokes

They’re revolting

Why does Mr. T like to drive Teslas?

Cuz he pities the fuel

I wish I had an electric car like a Tesla...

...so I'm pretty Madagascar is all I can afford.

Recently got run over by a guy in a Tesla, thought he got away but:

He’s currently being charged with battery now

Did you know that when someone gets run over by a Tesla it isn't considered Vehicular Manslaughter?

They call it electric car battery!

I can drive this Tesla more stylishly and smartly than any of you.

But I still don’t understand how you can tell a crosswalk apart from a traffic light or fire hydrant so easily?

Did you hear about the blonde who tried to commit suicide?

She closed her garage door

and sat in her Tesla

while she left it running

What’s the difference between a porcupine and a Tesla?

A porcupine carries it’s pricks on the outside.

Why is the top speed for a Tesla 68?

Because sparks fly when you reverse polarity.

What do Tesla cars smell of?

Elon's Musk! (thanks 7 year old son!)

What's the difference between a Tesla and a porcupine?

The porcupine has the pricks on the outside.

[If you own a Tesla, please substitute "Range Rover" or whatever other brand makes you feel better.]

Apparently there’s a strange smell in new Teslas

Apparently it’s quite musky

Einstein and Tesla walked into a bar...

...but Edison walked into a pascal.

Did you hear what they’re calling this Tesla scandal?

Elongate, it’s gonna be really drawn out.

99 dead in Tesla autopilot car crash

This has caused Tesla to drop all ideas of a battle Royale mode for Tesla cars

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What is the difference between a Tesla and Hitler

Tesla has no gas bills

What's the difference between a porcupine and a Tesla?

The porcupine has pricks on the outside and would never get a smug, personalized license plate.

If you invested early into Tesla stocks, you would be a millionaire. If you invested early into Apple, you would be a billionaire. If you invested £10 in 1890,

You would be dead.

I heard Macy's is selling this new perfume that has that "new Tesla smell"

They're calling it 'Elon Musk'.

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