Did you know that Tesla has started producing an anti-Corona device?

It's called the Elon Mask.

Tesla owners are the new vegans:

How do you know if someone is a Tesla owner?
They'll tell you.

Tesla founder Elon Musk is originally from South Africa, which is strange

You’d think he was from mad-at-gas-car.

Teslas do not have “New Car” smell…

They have an Elon Musk

Scientists Play Hide-and-Seek

All the great scientists throughout history are brought together for a game of hide and seek. They draw straws and Einstein is "it" first. He starts counting back from 100 as all the other great minds run hither and thither looking to hide. Newton runs over to the bushes but Heisenberg is already ...

Tesla just released a new brand of cologne

It's called "Elon's Musk."

How do you tell if someone owns a Tesla?

Don’t worry - they’ll tell you about it!

Tesla have just announced their new lawn mower

E Lawn

I got a brand new Tesla for my partner

Pretty decent trade, if you as me.

Your mama so stupid she tried kill herself in the garage with the car running...

Too bad she drives a Tesla.

Did you know that when someone gets run over by a Tesla it isn't considered Vehicular Manslaughter?

They call it electric car battery!

She has a Tesla!

Wife (dying): After I die you marry a nice woman

Husband: No I can never do that

Wife: Give my belongings to her. My room, my dresses, my car,....

Husband: No need she already has a Tesla Model X

Wife: WTF !!??!!!!!!

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How many reddit users does it take to replace a lightbulb?

1 to make a post about it,
4 to mention that its the wrong forum,
1 to post it to the right forum,
7 to suggest op should post it to the electronics forum,
2 to post it to the electronics forum,
1 mod to delete the second post,

3 to suggest an image post would have gathered mor...

Reasons the idiot couldn't kill himself.

He couldn't find the tailpipe on his Tesla.

He jumped in front of a model train.

The bullets wouldn't fit in the squirt gun.

He overdosed on placebo pills.

He jumped off a low bridge.

He stuck a plastic fork in an outlet.

He doused himself in diesel and trie...

Ending it all

Brad was sick of the World, of Covid-19, those who hate China, global warming, species extinction, racial tension and all the rest of the disturbing stories that occupy the media headlines.

Brad drove his car into his garage at home, carefully sealed up around the windows and doorways of his ...

What's the difference between a dead hooker and a Tesla?

Ain't no Tesla in my garage

What do you call a stolen Tesla?

An Edison.

What do you call a pair of Teslas?

Teslacles.

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Every since I bought a Tesla and they made weed legal, life hasn’t been the same

Now I have to tell hitchhikers that ass is the only acceptable form of payment.

Imagine missing a payment on a TESLA,

and the car drives itself back to the dealership.

How did the African island compete with Tesla?

Madagascar.

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Elon Musk says he is going to pull Tesla out of California

Never trust a guy with 6 kids that says he is going to pull out

Tesla made a coupe, sedan, SUV, semi, and truck. The next should be..

The Elon Busk

Why can the Tesla cybertruck go faster than a Porsche 911?

It renders faster

If you invested early into Tesla stocks, you would be a millionaire. If you invested early into Apple, you would be a billionaire. If you invested £10 in 1890,

You would be dead.

Recently got run over by a guy in a Tesla, thought he got away but:

He’s currently being charged with battery now

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My sex life is like a Tesla...

Zero emissions.

What do Elon Musk and Thomas Edison have in common?

They both got rich off of Tesla.

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The Big Bang Theory

# Some Background Info

The TV show "The Big Bang Theory" was created by Chuck Lorre. At the end of each episode he inserted a one screen humorous comment.

While season 4 was being produced, the lead actress had a horseback riding accident unrelated to the show which caused her a broke...

What do you call Nikola Tesla and Thomas Edison's band?

AC/DC

A vet, a banker and a barber walk into a bar.

After a few drinks the banker gloomily says:

“although business has been booming most of the funds have beent going to my cats medication, sadly Bartholomew got run over by a blue honda; i wish i could of seen the driver and give him what he desreves”

With the drinks opening them up t...

I can drive this Tesla more stylishly and smartly than any of you.

But I still don’t understand how you can tell a crosswalk apart from a traffic light or fire hydrant so easily?

What did Nikola Tesla say after being shocked by his Tesla Coil?

That hertz alot

Thomas Edison stole the design for a film-playing box from Tesla. Tesla confronted Edison about it, but instead of apologizing he accused Tesla of trying to steal his idea.

Classic case of projection

What is the definition of mixed feelings?

When your mother-in-law is driving your new Tesla towards a cliff.

I'm worried about my flatmate. In the last week he has recently just purchased himself a new Ford, Tesla, BMW, Toyota

I think he might have a car owner virus.

What is Tesla's favorite gun?

A musket

My brother got a Tesla

My brother picked up a Tesla a few months back and it spoiled him for other cars. So last night, I pick him up from the airport in my old Yaris.

After a few minutes of driving, he says, “We need to get you into something all-electric.”

Looking back, I reply, “Best I can afford is a bat...

Tesla to launch a new Electric lawnmower

It will be called e-Lawn!

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Charged up the tesla last night

Just the name we gave my partners sex toy to make us sound rich

If you’re driving a stolen Tesla...

Would it be called an Edison?

There are rumors that Tesla is considering on a stretched, three row version of their Model X SUV. The project is on Musk's desk waiting for a decision on whether to go forward.

Their next car is Elon gated.

The easiest way to get an unpaid internship with Tesla's QA department is...

...to order a Tesla vehicle.

What do Tesla brand car airfresheners smell like?

Elon Musk

K. I'll show myself out.

People get mad at Tesla drivers for falling asleep behind the wheel.

My car must be broken. Every time I fall asleep while driving it takes me to the hospital.

I wish I had an electric car like a Tesla...

...so I'm pretty Madagascar is all I can afford.

Miss 3 consecutive payments of Tesla

The car drives itself back to the sales house

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The founders of Tesla and Microsoft have joined forces to create their new brand of Viagra...

Elon Gates.

What's the difference between a Tesla and a porcupine?

The porcupine has the pricks on the outside.

[If you own a Tesla, please substitute "Range Rover" or whatever other brand makes you feel better.]

A man walked into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him

### A man walked into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him

As he sat down, the waitress came over and asked for their orders. The man said, "I'll have a hamburger, fries and a coke." Then he turned to the ostrich and asked, "What's yours?" "I'll have the same," said the ostrich. ...

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A Redheaded farmer is out in his field minding his own business.

He's tidying up down by the fence next to the road.

A posh limey comes gliding up in his Tesla.

Paddy, that's the Irish farmer, didn't hear the limey roll up so the limey honks his horn, startling Paddy.

"I say," asked the limey "does this road go to the Blarney Stone my good ma...

My friends Tesla up and left him one day!

Apparently the car’s software concluded he wasn’t the right driver

Why is the top speed for a Tesla 68?

Because sparks fly when you reverse polarity.

I can’t do anything right, so I decided to end it all. I turned on my car, sat in my closed garage, and waited.

I’ve been in my Tesla for 14 hours so far and still nothing.

It seems like people either love or hate the new Tesla truck design...

It sure is a wedge issue!

Three guys die and go to heaven

St. Peter meets them at the pearly gates, and announces "welcome to heaven. it is a vast and holy place. I will assign you a vehicle based on how faithful you were to your spouses"

The first man walks up and is given the keys to a beat up 1989 Honda Civic and St. Peter says to him "you cheate...

I had a friend win a brand new Tesla at a radio promotion

It was free of charge...

Two friends chat and one brags about his new car

“So I got a new Tesla Model X, it drives itself!”

“Nice! Where is it?”

“No idea...”

What Is the Number One Complaint from Tesla Employees?

No matter where you are in the facility it always smells a little musky.

Apparently there’s a strange smell in new Teslas

Apparently it’s quite musky

Report: New blinker sound options coming on the next Tesla firmware upgrade

Fun-ding confirmed

CEO of Tesla invented solar-energy gathering grass!

I love the stuff, I filled my entire yard with it. My only complaint is the weird smell. Has a real e-lawn musk to it.

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I can never get anything right. Yesterday I attempted suicide.

My wife left for work. I went into the garage, sealed the windows and doors.
Started my car, let it run.
I sat in my lawn chair and closed my eyes. After eight hours, nothing. I felt the same. I was soo pissed off I shut of my Tesla and went back inside.

Tesla

You can't Tokyo Drift in a Tesla

You can only do the Electric Slide

Why was the stock trader electrocuted?

He shorted Tesla

So a BMW rolls up on a tesla and says "you wouldn't even run without all those fancy computers and screens"

The tesla responds "OK BEAMER!"”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A homeless man meets a rich man on Christmas Eve

The homeless man asks the rich man, "What'd ya get for your wife this year?" The rich man replies, "Diamond earrings and a Tesla." The homelesa man asks, "Why are you getting her two gifts?" The rich man says, "Well, if she doesn't like the earrings then she can drive to the store and exchange them....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Suggestions for Tesla sentry mode...

(based on a thread over in r/TeslaMotors)

Tesla Sentry Mode is the name of the car's feature that detects when someone is near the car when it is parked; it saves video from that time period and notifies the owner how many incidents have occurred while s/he's been away from the car. It also p...

My friend is trying to convince me not to buy a Tesla because electric cars use up a lot of battery going uphill.

But that’s a hill I’m willing to die on.

I’m so sick of Tesla jokes

They’re revolting

What do you call a place of religious worship for Tesla cars?

An Elon Mosque

I heard Macy's is selling this new perfume that has that "new Tesla smell"

They're calling it 'Elon Musk'.

Tesla's new car smell.

I heard they designed a special new car smell just for Tesla's.

They call it Elons musk.

A snail crawls into a Tesla dealership...

A salesman asks how he can help. The snail says, "I want a Model S."

The salesman scoffs and says, "You're a *snail.* Why would you want a Tesla Model S?"

The snail sadly replies, "Nobody ever pays attention or even notices me. I can't seem to make friends or meet girls. I figure i...

Mid-life Crisis

A man in his 40's bought a new Tesla Model S and was out for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair, and he decided to rev her up.

As the needle jumped up to 90 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him. "There's no...

Ford is creating a new company to manufacture electric vehicles using Tesla software and batteries.

They're naming it Edison.

Tesla has announced an Alexa speaker.

It is supposed to be quite elonquent.

Tesla released a car air freshener last week...

It's called "Elon's musk".

- Congrats on Q3 Elon, enjoy my repost everyone that missed it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What is the difference between a Tesla and Hitler

Tesla has no gas bills

Einstein and Tesla walked into a bar...

...but Edison walked into a pascal.

Some lowlife stole my Tesla today.

I guess now it's an Edison.

If Elon Musk released a line of fragrances they would probably call it..

Tesla for Men or something like that

The all new self-driving Tesla has a shower facility in it

Time to get rid of that Musk

The other day I passed a school with a car brand as their name

Can you imagine, who would call a school Tesla

Back in the day...

...when I still went to school, I had only one true friend. His name was Eddy and although we had different interests, we got along really well. Since I was good in science classes I often times helped him with his homework because for some reason he was only interested in history classes. Actually ...

In this age of Teslas and other eco-conscious cars, what would Jesus drive?

Duh, a Christler.

Why does Mr. T like to drive Teslas?

Cuz he pities the fuel

Tesla briefly investigated reusable bio engines made from plants. Wooden car body, wooden wheels and a wooden engine.

It wooden go.

New Cologne

My son told me this.

Tesla is offering a sample of their new cologne when you go to their show rooms.

It is called Elon Musk

Before you say Tesla backwards

Make sure everything is alset.

Some people say Tesla’s interiors all smell the same...

Sort of like an Elon Musk.

What do you call a stolen Tesla?

An Edison.

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