You ever heard of the short tempered doctor?

No? Makes sense, he doesn't have any patients.

What's round and bad tempered?

A vicious circle.

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A man was playing golf with his local Vicar.

The man took his birdie put, but then a gust of wind blew the ball just wide of the hole. The man, being very bad tempered, then exclaimed "Damn - missed the bugger!".

The vicar said to the man "Please do not use foul language again."

They moved onto the next hole and exactly the same ...

If human smiths make tempered steel...

do dwarven ones make short-tempered steel?

The Farmer had an ill-tempered Donkey.

The donkey would refuse to plow the fields and would kick any anyone that came close to him. One unfortunate day, the donkey kicked the farmer's wife, who died from the blow. During the funeral, thousands of men showed up from all over the province. Feeling amused, a neighbor asked the farmer, "That...

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Sister Teresa is walking down to breakfast when she meets another nun walking up.

"Good morning, Sister Assumpta!" says Sister Teresa. "Good morning, Sister Teresa!" says the other. "Did you get out of bed the wrong side this morning?"

Puzzled, Sister Teresa continues on her way to the refectory. "Good morning, Sister Pieta!" she says to the nun serving porridge. "Good mor...

What do you get when you cross a Mexican cholo and an ill tempered Irishman?

... a surprisingly stable person; according to my Homie O'Statis.

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I'm starting an A Capella group with five other ill tempered pedophiles.

We're called Six Dicks in A Minor.

I heard that steel got into a heated argument once

Ever since then, it has been tempered metal.

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A notorious loan shark is driving drunk one night...

As he's speeding down some curvy mountain roads, the shark loses control of the vehicle and crashes head-on into a tree.

When he comes to, the man finds himself lying on a sofa in a fairly modest looking waiting room. Dizzy, he looks around and sees what appears to be a reception desk at the ...

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call him maestro... or else

many years ago there was an orchestra in omaha whose conductor was notoriously ill tempered. he would fly off the handle at the smallest mistake, yet he would never offer any constructive criticism. he thought he was the greatest, and demanded to be called maestro. but sometimes, he'd give the wrong...

After a short eternity of waiting for the couple to finally leave the last parking place, I was getting annoyed.

While I was about to start honking my horn and using my best vocabulary, my friend beside me was cool as a cucumber. After another five minutes of waiting, I just had to ask why the normally hot tempered man was so calm.

"It's simple. I'm assuming they are Catholic and just don't have any e...

A joke I will always love

In the distant future when interstellar space travel is common place, scientists are traveling through galaxies to find life on other planets. On one planter many light years away, they find a giant granite statue statue of a man in a squatting position. Upon close inspection they find this statue i...

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The apple of your dreams.

One day Eddie walked into the patent office. He boldly stated to the patent officer, Bob, that he’d like to patent the apple. Bob, a studious man who looked like he spent a lifetime burying his face in books, dryly pointed out “You can’t patent the apple, Johnny Appleseed already did that.”
“We...

the Ogre and the Trids

Once upon a time long, long ago there were beings called Trids barely making a living on the side of a hill. They knew, however, that there was a beautiful field of valuable Flurd just on the other side of the hill, and if they could get their hands on some of that Flurd, their lives would improve i...

What type of windows were on the bus that Connor McGreggor threw the dolly at?

Short tempered glass

What kind of glass gets angry easily?

Tempered glass

The blonde went to see her doctor.

"I don't know what's wrong with me," she said. "I've been very short-tempered lately. I'm always yelling at my husband and kids over the silliest little things."

"Sounds like stress," said the doctor. "Maybe you need to exercise more. Tell you what, try running ten miles a day. Call me i...

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Awful Neighbors

"There is a huge house in our street. The extended family is run by a grumpy old woman with a pack of irritable dogs allowed to run without leashes.
Her car isn't taxed or insured and doesn't even have a number plate, but the police still do nothing.
To the best of my knowledge, she has neve...

The slippers

This is more like a funny story not a joke to me. I'm not a native English speaker, so my English is not that well.

Madurese, a tribe from Indonesia, are known to be very religious but, unfortunately, bad tempered and proud.

(OP is Madurese) It goes like this:



One day, a...

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A third lady goes into a pet shop...

...she, like the two ladies before her, is also looking to buy a parrot. She also takes a liking to a particularly foul-mouthed and ill-tempered parrot (this shop has a lot of them). She takes the parrot home, thinking it will be a fun project to clean up his act.

At home, she tries to teach ...

The Russian brothers hear the propaganda about Siberia...

how beautiful the weather is, how the shops are stocked with all necessities and luxuries, and prices are low.
Boris worries "Maybe they're just saying that to get people to move out there and work in the salt mines. How can we tell?"
Vladimir thinks a while, and comes up with an idea....

Two friends are talking in a bar...

Their names are Fred and Michael. They've known each other for a while, 15 years roughly. So they feel pretty comfortable with each other talking about more...sensitive topics. On this occasion, Fred decided to ask Michael about his son as it was something that had been nagging him for a while but h...

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