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Tellers Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man runs into a bank, pulls out a gun and robs the teller. He then turns the gun on the on the first man standing in the tellers line and asks, "Did you see me rob this bank?"

The man stammered, "Yes."

Bang!  The robber shoots him.

He then turns the gun on the married couple next in line, points the gun at the husband and demands, "Did you see me rob this bank?"
The husband quickly responds, "No....but my wife did!"

My great grandad used to make fabric booths for clairvoyants and fortune tellers..

He was a con-tent creator.

What size clothes do fortune tellers wear?

Medium.

Two fortune tellers meet each other.

One of them says:

"Hello! Your day was fine. How about mine?"

Why are geckos natural-born story tellers?

Dropping a tail is in their nature.

Some folks like fortune-tellers who warn of dangers. Some like to find fortune-tellers who keep emotions out of the readings. What do I want?

I prefer a happy medium.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do dyslexics make bad joke tellers?

They always punch up the fuckline

Why can't fortune tellers have children

They have glass balls

I recently began selling faulty jetpacks to fortune tellers.

Prophets are flying through the roof.

How many reddit joke tellers does it take to change a light bulb?

I don't know. They haven't admitted that it's worn out yet.

A hooded robber burst into a bank and forced the tellers to load a sack full of cash.

A hooded robber burst into a bank and forced the tellers to load a sack full of cash.
On his way out the door, a brave customer grabbed the hood and pulled it off, revealing the robbers face. The robber shot the customer without a moment's hesitation
He then looked around the bank and noticed ...

What song do fortune tellers hate?

Que Será, Será

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why don't fortune tellers use contraceptives?

They have crystal balls and can see it coming.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A frog hops into a bank and goes up to a teller.

He notices the tellers name is Patricia Whack. So he decides to ask her
"HI Ms. Whack. My name is Kermit and i would like a $50,000 loan for a vacation".

The teller is taken aback and asks "who are you and why would we give you a loan?"

The frog says "Dont worry my father is Mick Ja...

A comedian takes her friend to a joke-tellers' convention...

The comedian shows her friend the sign-up list for performers, then they grab their seats. The first performer walks out onto the stage, and says:

"16!"

He gets a few chuckles.

"5679!"

The crowd starts to laugh

"227!"

The crowd is in uproar, practically dryi...

A frog walks into a bank

A frog walks into a bank, and approaches the teller. He sees the tellers name tag read Paddy Black and says

"I'd like to take out a loan, Mrs. Black"

"Certainly," says the teller, "how much would that be for?"

"One million dollars." replies the frog. "Don't worry, it's ok, I kn...

Psychics, clairvoyants and fortune tellers are easy to buy clothes for...

Because they're all mediums

If there were lists of the best dad joke tellers...

...would they be called the Pop Charts?

Joke tellers, I need your help! Writing a salutatorian speech, and I want it to be kind of funny.

I'm not entirely humorous, but I do only have a limited amount of time to do this in. I need some jokes about graduation that will get the crowd laughing somewhat. Nothing too dirty, etc., but humor is necessary. Sorry if this isn't the right place for this, thank you!

Why are dragons such good story tellers?

Because they have long tails

Why are atoms bad story tellers?

Even though they are great at making things up, they always ending up Bohring me to death

Due to lack of protective measures during the pandemic, retail cashiers and bank tellers are refusing to go to work

It's a counter strike

A frog walks into a bank.

The frog hops up on the counter of the nearest available teller and says "I want a loan."

Confused, the teller asks for the frog's name.

"My name is Kermit Jagger, son of Rolling Stone's legend Mick Jagger, and I want a loan" he says. "And what is **YOUR** name?"

"My name is Pat...

What do you call a community of fortune tellers who work for free?

A non-prophet organization

Once upon a time, there was a trainee fortune teller...

Once upon a time, there was a trainee fortune teller called Sarah who hoped to learn the proper skills of divination by training alongside a renowned fortune teller, Madame Lointain (for, in these times, it was customary for each village to have a fortune teller).


After having studied for...

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