Two fortune tellers meet each other.

One of them says:

"Hello! Your day was fine. How about mine?"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man runs into a bank, pulls out a gun and robs the teller. He then turns the gun on the on the first man standing in the tellers line and asks, "Did you see me rob this bank?"

The man stammered, "Yes."

Bang!  The robber shoots him.

He then turns the gun on the married couple next in line, points the gun at the husband and demands, "Did you see me rob this bank?"
The husband quickly responds, "No....but my wife did!"

Due to lack of protective measures during the pandemic, retail cashiers and bank tellers are refusing to go to work

It's a counter strike

Putin is asked by an interviewer, "Vladimir Vladimirovich, how did you get in the KGB?"

Putin replies, "You see, when I was a young man, I would listen to my friends tell political jokes and would write them down."

"Jokes?" asks the interviewer

"Not only jokes, but also the names of the joke tellers."

Why can't fortune tellers have children

They have glass balls

A comedian takes her friend to a joke-tellers' convention...

The comedian shows her friend the sign-up list for performers, then they grab their seats. The first performer walks out onto the stage, and says:

"16!"

He gets a few chuckles.

"5679!"

The crowd starts to laugh

"227!"

The crowd is in uproar, practically dryi...

How many reddit joke tellers does it take to change a light bulb?

I don't know. They haven't admitted that it's worn out yet.

Once upon a time, there was a trainee fortune teller...

Once upon a time, there was a trainee fortune teller called Sarah who hoped to learn the proper skills of divination by training alongside a renowned fortune teller, Madame Lointain (for, in these times, it was customary for each village to have a fortune teller).


After having studied for...

I recently began selling faulty jetpacks to fortune tellers.

Prophets are flying through the roof.

A hooded robber burst into a bank and forced the tellers to load a sack full of cash.

A hooded robber burst into a bank and forced the tellers to load a sack full of cash.
On his way out the door, a brave customer grabbed the hood and pulled it off, revealing the robbers face. The robber shot the customer without a moment's hesitation
He then looked around the bank and noticed ...

My next door neighbors are fortune tellers. They told me to turn down my television.

I told them I would find a “happy medium.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why don't fortune tellers use contraceptives?

They have crystal balls and can see it coming.

What song do fortune tellers hate?

Que Será, Será

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do dyslexics make bad joke tellers?

They always punch up the fuckline

Bank tellers are always super nice to me,

Everytime I go in they say I have an outstanding balance

Where do bad dad joke tellers get sent?

To the punitentiary.

An Anti-vaxxer Went to a Fortune Teller

She said to her “I want to see where my child is in 10 years.” The fortune teller then looked in her magic ball for a good while. She searched and searched but after some time she looked at the mother and said “What child?”

If there were lists of the best dad joke tellers...

...would they be called the Pop Charts?

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.