UPJOKE

Math Test Jokes

If I got 50¢ for every math test I've failed

I would have $7.20 by now

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The Irish Math test

*disclaimer, i didn't invent this joke and i'm not sure who did but i hope you enjoy it...

An Irishman applied for a job on a construction site, but the foreman wouldn't hire him until he passed a simple maths test.
Here is your first question, the foreman said. "Without using numbers, rep...

My daughter has a math test on Roman numerals.

I told her I hope she gets a "C".

Math Test

Boy: Can I get your number?

Girl: Sorry I have a boyfriend

Boy: I have a math test

Girl: Why are you telling me this?

Boy: Oh i thought we were mentioning things we can cheat on

A teenager fails his math test

As a father was passing by his son's bedroom, he was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed, ‘Dad.’

With trembling hands he opened the envelope and read the letter.

“D...

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If you put in 110% for your math test

You will fail it. That's not how math fucking works.


Edit : I understand that 110/100 is a thing. This is just meant to be a joke that makes you laugh when you first see it.

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Little Timmy was taking a math test in class...

The first question was 3+2.

Timmy used his fingers and counted 5. Easy enough.

For the next question, it was 5+6.

Timmy realized he did not have enough fingers so he asked his classmate,

“Hey, can I borrow your fingers to do this question?”

The teacher immediatel...

How did a cow do so well on his math test?

He did all the proper cowculations

First time posting, my gf wasn’t very impressed but hope you guys can find humour in this!!

Omg thank you for the silver I’ve never gotten one before. I’m totally bragging now lol

Questions on the new quarantine math test

If johnny has 30 watermelons, and is forbidden to contact or interact with any other people for 21 days, how many watermelons is he left with?

I couldn't figure out the answer to 180˚/ π on my math test.

So the girl next to me let me cheat off her.

It was rad.

I took a math test.

It came up negative.

If I get caught cheating on this math test

I'll have a problem on my hands

I once thought it was funny to take a math test in an elevator

I was wrong on so many levels

I told my Asian friend I got a "B" on my math test.

He said "Wasabi?"

How did the schizophrenic do on their math test?

They passed with flying colors.

Why did the amoeba flunk the math test?

Because it multiplied by dividing.

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Penis Contest

Three third-graders, a Jew, an Italian, and an African American are on the playground at recess. The Jewish kid suggests that they play a new game. "Let's see who has the largest dick," he says. "Okay," they all agree.

The Jewish kid pulls down his zipper and whips it out. "That's nothing," s...

Did anyone see the questions on that math test?

It was in tenths!

I hope this abacus helps me pass my math test.

I'm counting on it.

I knew I was going to fail my math test when I entered the classroom.

So I did a 360 and left.

Looking at my score, I think I failed the math test but it's hard to tell

I'm pretty bad with numbers.

If I had 50¢ for every Math test I failed....

I still wouldn't have enough money to pay off my crippling student debt.

What did the Pie say when he failed a math test?

"How did I get these simple questions wrong! I am so irrational!"

If I got 50¢ for every math test I've failed.

I would be able to buy a tie, pursue a career, and stop reposting old jokes.

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An art teacher, a math teacher, and a science teacher are all arguing over which one of them is the smartest.

The art teacher shows the others a giant clay sculpture of a dog he made. “This thing took me nearly a month to make.” He said. “Clearly this proves that I’m the smartest.”

The math teacher just laughs at him. “That’s nothing” she says. She then pulls out a huge 1’000 question math test which...

A boy goes up to a girl and says "hey baby what's up"...

She says "I have a boyfriend", he says "I have a math test".

The girl says "What's that got to do with anything?", he replies "I thought we were just naming things we are going to cheat on."

**EDIT**: Okaaay, this is on the front page? It's a joke my friends 9 year old son told me that...

What do you do when you have 10 minutes to complete your math test?

Geometry dash

I wake up from a nightmare that I am taking a math test...

and find out that I am taking a math test.

Why did the baseball player fail at the math test?

He used base 3.

What did the mentally handicapped kid get on his math test?

Drool

Boy: Hey wanna see a movie with me tonight?

Girl: I have a boyfriend.

Boy: and i have a math test tomorrow.

Girl: What does that have to do with anything?

Boy: I thought we were listing things we were going to cheat on.

What did the mermaid wear for good luck on her math test?

Her *algaebra*.

So I asked this girl girl out and she repied "I'm sorry, but I already have a boyfriend."

I told her: "Well, I have a math test tomorrow."

She asks "What does a math test have to do with my boyfriend?"

I replied: "Oh, I'm sorry! I thought we were talking about things we could cheat on."

I am so forgetful that I always forget to pack my calculator before my math tests. But I am so smart that I have only failed them a few times...

So few that I can count on my fingers

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I can predict your favorite movie with one simple trick..

This math test will determine your favorite movie.
Amazing!
This is pretty damn amazing. Mine turned out to be Gone With The Wind. Thats my favorite movie! I was surprised how this worked.
.
Be honest and dont look at the movie list till you have done the math!
.
Try this test and ...

All the blondes in the world are tired of being portrayed as stupid

... so they decide to prove that they're just as smart as anyone else.

They hold a big conference, and fill up an entire stadium of blondes. People come from miles and miles to be part of this, the stadium is filled, the city outside the stadium is packed, and millions more watch from home as...

A father meets his son’s teacher.

« Sir, I’m afraid your son is a cheater », says the teacher.

« What? No ! What makes you say that? » responds the father

« Well, in the last math test, he had the same answers as his neighbour. »

« Yeah, that’s a math test, duh. There’s only one good answer, right? »

« In...

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Little Johnny was sent home early from school one day.

His Dad seeing him walk into the house was visibly confused and asked Little Johnny why he was sent home.


"I failed my math test" he told his Dad.


"How!? We been studying all week for that stupid thing!" his dad replied angerly.


"First the teacher asked me 'What is ...

A group of researchers were interested in studying...

...some of the complex effects of stereotype threat in test-taking situations. Stereotype threat is a social psychology theory that states an individual may experience anxiety when they have the potential to confirm a negative stereotype, thus adversely affecting their performance on a test. For exa...

There was a porta-potty near the edge of a small cliff

Everyday young Bobby would walk by it on the way home from school, and every day he would resist the temptation to kick it off the edge of the cliff.

This all changed one day when Bobby had a particularly bad day at school. He had learned about boring topics, like how George Washington cut do...

What's long, hard and makes young blonde girls scream?

A math test.

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Kevin came home from elementary school one day...

...with a smile and exclaimed, "Dad! I got the highest score in class on the math test!"

"That's because you're from Louisiana, son!" The father replies.

The next day, Kevin returns from school again with excitement in his voice.

"Dad, guess what!?!" he says happily. "I can spel...

I like the way you're thinking

Little Johnny always tried to make the teacher feel uncomfortable.
One day we were making some simple math tests, and after a while, the teacher asks Little Johnny: 'Johnny, if there are five birds on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are left?'
Johnny answers: 'None, because they all got s...

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