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Driving Test Jokes

My friend text me 'what are you doing now?'

I replied 'Probably failing my driving test'.

A young man is taking a driving test

The instructor describes a situation: "You're driving along and suddenly there are two people in front of you. A bit to the left there's an old hag and a bit to the right there's a beautiful young woman. Your car can't make it between them. What do you do?"



The young man says: "Well I...

I got six minors on my driving test.

I accidentally reversed into a school playground.

So I went to do my driving test high on lsd

I passed with flying colors!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I failed my driving test today. I was driving down a country road with the examiner, when a rabbit ran out right in front of the car.

I remembered my instructor said you should never swerve or try to avoid an animal, because it's dangerous and you can end up causing a more serious accident.You should always just hit it and keep on driving.

Had to chase that little bugger for miles across the fields before I finally got it!

I got 8 out of 10 in my driving test.

2 guys jumped out to safety.

driving test.....

there is an old man and a little baby, what do you hit?





the brakes.

Why did Chewbacca fail his driving test?

He made a few Wookiee errors.

The leper failed his driving test.

He left his foot on the clutch.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did the father of 12 fail his driving test?

It was the parallel parking...he could get in but he wasn't able to pull out properly

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a nun who passed her driving test?

Virgin Mobile

A woman was being interviewed during a driving test

Officer: You are driving a car down the road, you see your husband and your brother crossing the road from opposite lanes.

What will you hit first?

Woman: Husband! My husband!

Officer: This is the third time I'm telling you madam, you hit the brakes first!

Why'd the alternate universe Spider-Man do so well on his driving test?

He's an excellent parallel Parker.

A gypsy is doing his driving test.

The instructor asks him: What road sign is that?

The gypsy replies: Aluminium

Gf just passed her driving test

My girlfriend had just passed her driving test so she drove me to town.

It was packed but we managed to find a space but she was nervous about doing a parallel park.

"I'm confident in you babe just do what you did in the test" I said

She slowly started unziping my flies.

My mate phoned me and asked what I was doing.

"Probably failing my driving test," I replied.

My friend told me he'd failed his driving test for running over a rabbit

I said they couldn't fail you for that, he said they can when it's in the butcher's window.

I was surprised to learn my kid failed the road driving test...

...she Tweeted three times that it seem to be going well.

I reversed into someone during my driving test.

He probably would have survived if he was in a car.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Apparently, even if you hit kids during your driving test, you'll still pass.

They're only considered to be minors.

A teenage boy had just passed his driving test ...

... and asked his father as to when they could discuss his use of the car.

His father said he'd make a deal with his son, "You bring your grades up from a C to a B average, study your Bible a little and get your hair cut. Then we'll talk about the car" The boy thought about that for a moment,...

Why did the stoner fail his driving test?

He kept hitting cones.

So last week I had my driving test

Halfway through the test, we passed a primary school and unfortunately someone walked out into the road, it took me completely by surprise. I was really upset that I'd failed my test, until the examiner assumed me that it was fine, it was only a minor.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My friend got two minors on his driving test and still passed

But when I ran over a child this morning everyone lost their shit

Yo moma is so fat

She took a driving test, when the examiner said drive through, she responded with, I'll take 5 big macs, 20 mcnuggets, and a large coke.

My mate just rang me and said "what are you doing at the moment?"

I said, "probably failing my driving test."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A blonde was going for a driving test for her license but was nervous as she’d failed 8 times before. After talking with her blonde friends they came up with a sure-fire plan. She was to pick a man as the driving instructor, and to use sex as a bargaining tactic in exchange for passing her

She came back disappointed though, she failed.
“What happened?” her friends asked.
“When I was sucking him off, I crashed”

Two truck driving brothers.

Two truck driving brothers are taking a driving test, and the instructor asks, "You're driving the truck and you're at the top of a mountain and your brakes go out. You notice an accident at the bottom of the mountain, what do you do?"
The trucker replies, "The first thing I do is wake up my bro...

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