Two guys are sitting on a couch

watching a reality cop show. One of them says: "World outside is so brutal, Jesus Christ, so violent and scary. I don't think I can go outside ever again."

His friend: "At some point we have to! I'm afraid the homeowners are coming home soon."

I was trying to practice on my guitar by playing some rock and the homeowners association gave me a written warning for the loud noise

Guess paper beats rock again

I got a letter from my Homeowners Associations too

It just said "People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw orgies."

What is a large group of Karens called?

A homeowners association

Noah's Ark 2.0

In the year 2016, the Lord came unto Noah, Who was now living in America and said:
"Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me."
"Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few good humans."

He gave Noah ...

A simpleton was canvassing a wealthy neighborhood..

..looking for handyman work. He went to one house and asked if there were any jobs for him to do.

"How much to paint my porch?", asked the homeowner.

"$50," he replied.

The homeowner agreed and gave him the paint and ladders he would need. Inside the homeowners wife asked
...

A drunk guy knocks on a door at night...

A drunk guy knocks on a door at night and the homeowner is furious and screams:

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, IT'S 3 IN THE MORNING!!"

The drunk says: Would you please help me push? Help me push, please.

The homeowner yells at the drunk: "NO! I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU AND IT'S IN THE MID...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.