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Tainted Jokes

I know that this tainted lettuce scare has everyone worried. But please, everyone...

Try to romaine calm.

A major produce organization is reeling after multiple reports of tainted lettuce.

We may soon witness the falling of the Romaine Empire.

There's a great deal of tainted money in the world...

It taint yours and it taint mine!

A naked man was arrested after stealing a bicycle and riding away on it.

Police impounded the bicycle, but worry that the evidence is tainted.

Ayn Rand, Rand Paul, and Paul Ryan walk into a bar...

The bartender serves them tainted alcohol because there are no regulations. They die.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's between a cunt and an asshole?

The tainted presidential election.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call love between a Dick and an Asshole?

Tainted Love

Deer Hunter

A hunter was stalking a deer on the ridge across from him when he noticed the deer was somewhat wobbly and seemed to be squinting. Looking carefully through his rifle scope, he soon realized that the big buck was standing in the middle of a patch of marijuana, happily chewing away. Taking careful ...

A government agent is sent to a village

A government agent is sent to a small English village where there are reports of multiple deaths from tainted pharmaceuticals.

The villagers are unaware of the cause, but are nonetheless worried and ask the agent who is responsible for these deaths around the village.

The agent tells t...

Sailor walks up to a Pirate in a bar...

...offers to buy the pirate a drink if he tells him the tales of his hook, pegleg, and eye patch.

The pirate agrees, but to one drink per tale.

Sailor buys him a drink, and says, well, why don't you start with the pegleg?

Pirate takes a long swig, leans forward and says "SHARK!"...

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