What do you call the Kardashian family taking a swim in the ocean?

pollution

Why do sharks only swim in salt water?...

...

Because pepper water makes them sneeze.

What do electric eels like to swim in?

Fresh Watter

I would love to swim in an ocean of orange soda.

It would be my Fanta sea

Why do fish swim in water?

Because their leg do not reach the bottom.

When you swim in the creek and an eel bites your cheek

that's a moray!

Two cats swim in a race. One is named one-two-three and the other is named un-deux-trois. Which cat won the race?

One-two-three because un-deux-trois quatre cinq.

Why do koi always swim in groups of 4?

So that while the A koi, B koi and C koi escape the predator will always go for the D koi

What hormones does a fish use to swim in a house?

Indoor Fins

I went with my kids for a swim in the public kids pool and apparently adults peeing in a pool is not entirely unnoticeable

The lifeguard yelled so loud at me I almost fell in the water.

How do you know when it's okay to swim in a pool of milk?

When it's past your eyes.

Why do hipsters only swim in tributaries?

Because they’re not main stream.

What country does fried fish swim in?

Greece!

(courtesy of my ten year old)

Why does no one swim in the western coast of South America?

Because the water is Chile

Why do fish swim in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze.

What did God say when Eve swim in the ocean for the first?

He said, "Oh great, now we'll never get that smell off the fish".

Why is it a bad idea to swim in the Mississippi River?

Because it has pp in it.

Why did the shark swim in circles?

He had a nosebleed.

Does a one legged duck swim in circles?

What time does a duck wake up in the morning?
-At the quack of dawn!!!

A duck walks into a bar and orders a drink. then tells the bartender:
-just put it on my bill!!!!

What's a duck's favorite snack?
-Cheese and quackers!!!

What did the duck say after hearing one of my...

A lonely orca is swimming in the arctic

Normally he doesn't venture this far north, but he figures there's nothing wrong with a longer swim into the frigid waters.

All of sudden he spots the most beautiful girl orca he's ever seen. Too long our poor protagonist has let opportunities pass him by, but not this time. So he gathers his...

A man opens up a pool Club

A man opens a pool club. It’s the only one in town so hundreds of people swim in it everyday.
The man however never swims in the pool himself. One day someone sees him taking a shower under a tap. The persons asks why doesn’t he just swim in his pool.
The man says,” Are you crazy? I fill the p...

An American and an Englishman are about to be executed

The American is put before the executioner and is asked: "What are your final 3 wishes ?"


The American replies: "My first wish is to smoke one last cigarette"



They bring him one last cigarette, he somkes it and the executioner asks him: "Your 2nd wish ?"



Amer...

Rat and elephant...

A rat decided to swim in the river. After a while, an elephant came and decided to cool off too.

The rat eventually got up, and after looking around for something, he says to the elephant-

"Hey elephant, mind coming up here for a bit?"

The elephant was confused, but he did as t...

Two young salmon are swimming along one day.

As they do, they are passed by a wiser, older fish coming the other way.

The wiser fish greets the two as he passes, saying, "Morning, boys! How's the water?"

The other two continue to swim in silence for a little while until the first one turns to the other and asks, "What the hell i...

A young man was a lifeguard and a swim instructor

All summer the young man would go to the neighborhood pool. In the mornings he would teach children of all ages pool safety and how to swim. In the afternoons he sat up in the big chair and watched swimmers.

Soon summer led to fall. The pool closed. The young man returned to school in the cit...

Why did the American start shooting the river?

He learned fish swim in schools

A homeless man was one day walking down an alleyway...

A homeless man was one day walking down an alleyway from which you could see the back gardens of these mansion like houses on the street. He looks into a garden and sees a man in a suit crying and looking at the pool.

The man in suit fills his pockets with rocks and suddenly jumps into the po...

A newly born sperm was receiving instructions in conception from the instructor.

"As soon as you hear the siren, run for the tunnel and swim in a straight line until you get to the entrance of a damp cavern. At the end of the cavern you will find a red, sticky ball which is the egg. Address it and say, 'I'm a Sperm.' She will answer, 'I'm an Egg.' From that moment on you will wo...

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